Like a Fluffy Cloud. But Green.

SG-WHOA!

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 03:31:32 GMT

Plz to understand that I am running around my room in tiny little circles at half past four in the morning just because I can.

Seriously. That was pretty cool, uh?

(ETA that I meant to say UNSPOILEDNESS FTW! and I forgot, and it was, you know, totally important and stuff.)

SGA 3x12

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 22:47:29 GMT

There is not enough SQUEE in the world to say how lovely that was. There just isn't!

If I ever get around to write a longer comment on this one, it will read like I'm a thirteen year old girl on crack. (I mean. More than usual.)

SO MUCH LOVE! *hugs and twirls flist around in delight*

sobs uncontrollably

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 06:26:14 GMT

Ok. Torchwood can really stop breaking me now.

Please?

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm trying very, very hard to fight the urge to rewatch it right away. (More! More!) I'm only winning because 7:30 am is really no time to be reduced to a pitiful and messy crying wreck again. Yay for overintense emotional porn!

NCIS 4x03

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 09:26:15 GMT

So... is it just me, or is Gibbs/DiNozzo, uhm, sort of CANON in this one?

I mean. A bit more than usual. Even speaking from Delusionaland.

You know, what with the "I'm worried about Jethro" and Jenny (!) basically telling Tony, "I fucked it up with him, but I'm weirdly sort of glad that you're not doing the same," and the mysterious girlfriend that no one has met (!!!)? Erm.

Not that I'm, you know, complaining or anything.

(Plus, on a slightly more serious note: character-wise, this episode was amazing. So perfect. Especially since we've sort of known him to be like this all along.

But, shhh. It's a well-kept secret.)

Six and a half minutes into SG-1, but...

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 23:03:26 GMT

Best. Guest casting. EVER!

Yay!

Lesson 6: Stargates and sanity are pretty much mutually exclusive.

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 14:57:38 GMT

... did I say I wasn't going to get much behind schedule with these things? Riiight. Well. You know, it's September, and September is Finals Month of DOOOOM around here. At least for those of us who were too lazy to get everything done by the end of summer. *is ashamed* So, while I wait to see SGA 3x08 (almost certainly not what I feared it was! But probably even more delirium-inducing! Which I know because David Hewlett is incapable of keeping anything spoiler-free! And I still want to worship him as my Geek god! The man is clearly an alien), I'll catch up on the last couple of episodes. Instead of studying. Will this sheep ever learn? *sigh*

First off, just a couple quick additional notes on 200.

Remember how Michael Shanks as John Crichton chewed on my last brain cell, spit it out, and then stomped a merry little dance on top of it? Well. This is what Joe Mallozzi said when asked about his favourite bit of the episode:

"The 'Farscape' scene. I was blown away by how much it looked like a clip from the original series. Trivia tidbit: originally, Ben was scripted to play the part of Crichton and Michael the part of Stark but, at the actors' request, the roles were switched the day before we shot the sequence."

... ASJHDGFASJFKEYBOARD MASH OF DOOM!

*builds a shrine of eternal identical worship to The Twins*

Ok, that's out of the way. Secondly, THE WEDDING SCENE OMG THANK YOU. THANK YOU. JACK AND DANIEL ARE ~~CANONICALLY MARRIED~~ LOVE. *cries more than Walter*

How do I find out who wrote which bit? And was that one mission report they just couldn't tell Cam about canonical proof that Aliens Made Them Do It At Least Once, or what? Also, I'd like to state that this was the most screencappable, quotable and most of all iconable episode of anything ever. I need to make five thousand icons of it. Seriously. (I'll end up making about two and a half, if that, but that's beside the point.)

I've seen the latest episode of SG-1, too. The only word I can think of to describe it is LOVE. As for the monkeys that decided we do not need another one or three years of these characters: çé*!/$£&%"£&!!! That's not all, by far, but I like to pretend I'm a polite person who only insults people who are not real.

On that note, onto Lantis 3x06, or, haven't I seen this one before? Like, when Buffy did it? Oh, well. *settles in to watch*

One minute in, and yes, it's totally Normal Again. Ok, who's this guy? I know him. *imdbs* Oooh! Of course! He's the captain of the Enterprise-B! Ah, good old Trek. Do you know, I recently did something I thought only Data could do? I got a joke seven years after hearing it. (Well, reading it.) No, seriously. Very surreal. Anyway: how much time are we spending in characters' heads this season? Will it end with someone stepping out of the shower? If so, can it please be a dripping wet, naked Sheppard? I'd be very much ok with that.

If he wasn't alone, but accompanied by an equally dripping wet and naked Rodney... I think many people would be ok with that. In fact, many people would be dead with that, but I don't think they'd mind.

JAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Jack's here! Like, they had Rick Anderson on set for the week and put him everywhere! Good job!

Ok, Liz, I get that this must be very confusing, but you're being a little slow. Remember, kids: when they lock you up, smile, nod, and agree with everything they say. Of course there's no Atlantis, doctor, that's absurd! And gay couples don't turn into penguins! Where did you get that idea? Are you sure I'm the one who's supposed to be insane? One hour of that, and you're free. How come no one on tv knows that?

Security clearance! I adore her. Yeah, call Jack! Call Jack! He's here! Yay Jack! ♥ Thank God for Jack, indeed. Aw. He's cool and funny and sweet even when he's not real. And yeah, I mean, I have a slight language buffer, 'cause to me the lost continent or island or whatever that Plato talked about is called 'Atlantide', and Atlantis is, you know, the one in the Pegasus galaxy. But it must sound so much crazier on your side, even compared to Stargates and spaceships and all the rest they have. I work in Atlantis! Yeah, right, the loony bin is the second left.

In other news, Jack is still made of awesome. Right until he fritzes and GETS SCARY AS FUCK! Eeep! *hides behind the sofa*

Ok, Liz sucks at escaping places. Like, monumentally. But she punched the guy! Wow! But no, hey, leave her alone! No! Torri, stop being good! You're supposed to be funny and crazy and with formerly purple hair! I can't take this angst!

Oh, come on, it's not two years. I bet it's about... how many hours is 42 minutes times 25? (Seventeen and a half. God, have we seen that little of them? It's less than a day! I want a lot more!) Oh, wait, back up, Simon's dead here? Aw! Come on, not the very tall Hobbit! Although I suppose he didn't have Hobbit hair here, yet. Well, it's kinda sad anyway. Not that I liked him much, but Liz obviously did. "No. I'm sorry, I don't believe you." Aw, Liz. *pets* Hey, SHEP! That was Shep behind the glass! *paws*

Mom? Mom! Awwwww. Elizabeth has a pretty cool Mom. Aw, so she has her father's watch on Atlantis. Which totally cannot keep Atlantis time, since it's not 24 hours, and this somehow makes it a thousand times sweeter. Aw, don't cry! Don't cry! I don't have Kleenex right here! Ok, Mom just went from cool to creepy in 0.4 seconds.

Shep? It is! It so is, look at the hair! Unmistakable! Oh, Shep, I miss you. Where are you?

Meds are bad when you're sane! She wanted to be an astronaut? That's... aw. I think I've just changed the way I see her. A lot. I thought she found Atlantis cool because of the Ancients, but she's really just like the rest of them. *smiles* Time is relative period, but let's not get into this, or I'll start having flashbacks to the pilot of The X-Files, and I don't have time for that right now. (It was so good! How could it go so bad in the end? Such sadness. Although I have to admit I loved Doggett insanely, I don't know why.) Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it makes for good tv! Although the thought of them all going back and being thought crazy is scary and angsty and sad as hell, and it needs to be out of my head right now.

Is she looking up Shep and the others? Oh, no. The accident. Aw. :(

You know, looking at this scene, I couldn't help but think... are all of this people sitting there listening to the others and thinking, man, the lady's totally whacked? I know it's not a laughing matter, but the image is kinda funny. Speaking of others, I perked up at the 'four' stuff, too. I thought she was talking about Shep's team, who was coming to rescue Liz from, uh, wherever.

Ok. So now she basically sees Shep a) in her bed, and b) growling at her. Why, Liz. That's very... Ok, I'm not touching this. Seriously, I'll just be over there in the corner, giggling.

Oh, don't give up! She's not going to forget Atlantis, is she? Of course she's doing great. She's sane! Ready? For what?

Oh! Home! Doggie! Awww.

Hey, nice digs, Liz. And they are made even better by JACK IN PRETTY, PRETTY CIVVIES! Wow. They both look so cute in this scene. Teaching? LIZ WAS A TEACHER? Oh, this explains a lot about the way she interacts with people. Especially McKay and Sheppard in their tag team of Kids With Cool Toys. Although that sounded like a college thing.

"He... said awkwardly." Oh, Jack! Fake!Jack is still way better than a million other characters. ♥

Aw. Doggie. But this is not home! Blip. Ok, this is home. Thank God she's in Atlantis, at least. With Shep! And Rodney! Who look so dejected for their poor girlfriend. And Carson! No, don't lose Liz, please. She's so adorably CRAP at everything! Nanites? Oh, from there! I totally didn't catch that this whole thing could be caused by them, which, how stupid am I? Gosh. Raw material?!? ACK! I said that, that biological assimilation thingie from the last ep sounded BAD! Oh, yeah, Shep is Continuity Man this week! Pity the old solution won't work. Blah, blah, Liz is so screwed, blah. Poor Shep and Rodney! They look so worried. *pets a lot*

Oh, we're back. But Jack's here! Talking about hockey! Yeah, Liz, not all American men are John Sheppard. Which is such an unfathomable pity. I want to cry. Except that Jack = AWESOME.

Aw, Rodney answers Shep's question like Carson's not even there. They look so sad! And Rodney probably wishes he could believe that talking to her will help. They are so her boyfriends it's not even funny. OT3!

OHMIGOD! "That's the same look I get when I have a brilliant idea." "How would you know how you looked?" "'Cause it's happened more than once in front of a mirror, ok?" LOVE! Tremendous amounts of LOVE! ♥ ♥ ♥

Yeah, totally not good at profound, but... AWWW, Shep! Eeep! Liz sees scary stuff again! But Shep is all Shep-like and totally stunted with the supportive stuff, but still so AWWW! And I am making even less sense than usual, sorry.

That's what Jack said. Oh, yeah. The nanites are slipping.

Oh! She hears him now! Sees him! FOLLOW THE HOT GUY, LIZ! Oooh. The puddle. Step through, step through! Why does my closet door never do that? OH, NOES! Let her go! That's totally breaking the rules, you're not supposed to be there!

Back. Damn. Oh, at least Jack makes everything better. And then he gets creepy, too. Damn.

"We?" Oh, I love Carson and Rodney together. They're sitcom material. But they're also so close and cute! And Rodney waving the canister around, and Carson taking it away like it's going to blow up! LOL! Rodney is so happy they can save her. Awww. You know, only the second time I watched this I got that Shep gives the okay because he's in charge with Elizabeth incapacitated. The first time, the only impression I got from this detail was 'next of kin'. Which just goes to show how the love permeates every tiniest thing about this show. So fantastic.

Oh, cool! The glyphs on the cards are the address for Atlantis! (Not that I know it by heart. It's just obvious. I'm a bad, bad fangirl, and I need to rewatch Rising at least another ten times.)

Oh, see, Shep is very good at being Continuity Man. Also, pointy ears sighting! Bottoms up!

Yay Liz! Embrace your craziness! Go, Carson and Rodney! Oh! It worked! Oh. It didn't. Well, crap.

Hey, no, no! This is scary! Stopstopstop! Liz!

Ronon is SO SMART OMG! ♥ You know, he wears leather and eats with his hands, but I keep forgetting that Satedans had, like, energy weapons and stuff. His world was actually more technologically advanced than ours. But Shep is so, so smart, too! REALITY CHECK! I ♥ Rodney! (Coincidentally, that's what it says on the back of my sister's live rpg association t-shirt. No, not I ♥ Rodney; it's Reality check: failed - failed - failed. I think it rocks. *g*) Oh my God, Shep is just too pretty. And he's also right. And talking to comatose Liz in front of the others in spite of his immense embarrassment! Awww.

BUFFY! See, Liz turned into a Slayer, right there! They're so shameless in their 'homages'. *g* Shep! Yes! Get in! Press the button! Ooooh. The SGC. Go away, fake Jack! Go boink fake Daniel, or something! Liz, follow Shep, he loves you! "The hell you aren't." YAY LIZ!

"Not yet, we're not." OMG SHEP! Don't make Rodney so distressed! He can't lose you, too! EEEEEEEEP! TOO MUCH LOVE! Help!

Oh, John. "Run." Aw, he's so focused! (That, or Joe had fallen asleep on his feet with his eyes open. How bored was he in this ep? Really.) Carson, save them all! (Although. I mean. Does a plastic curtain really keep nanites away? Oh, well. Tv science! On with the handwaving! I had A LOT of practice watching the season premiere of House, after all.)

Jack! Are you still here? Daniel's waiting. No, seriously, step aside. NiceGuy! Actually, Carson made John leave, but, who cares! You're evil! Go away! Yay Liz! Believe! Oooh! Rodney and Teyla are sososo happy that their girlfriend is safe! *gets shiny-eyed* Teyla wasn't being girlfriendy before, though, when Shep was there. Does this mean they have a rule that, in the midst of the almost-orgy that is Atlantis, when several lovers of the same person are in the same room with him/her, only two of them may simultaneously act accordingly at any given time? I guess that makes staff meetings and lunch hours a lot easier, actually. "You never left." And this time, she smiles. AWWW!

Hey, Shep! With his Peter Pan hands in full swing! (I see Joe is finally awake.) How did he manage to make that almost sound like a compliment? "Oh, you're way too interesting, the nanites wouldn't have looked twice at me!" Uncanny. And God, the way he looks at her! So FLIRTY! *melts* Ha! He's being funny for her sake! As usual! I WANT ONE OF MY OWN! *clings to Sheppard*

Aw, the watch. Yep. This episode gets a definite AWWW! rating from me.

I think I can watch this Friday's episode now. If you never hear from me again, remember, the website of the year: BLAMEDAVIDHEWLETT.COM! My new mantra.

(Not that I've bought that domain, or anything. Ok, I have, but I don't know html from pecan pie, so it's not like I'll use it. It's just nice to know it's there.)

One quick note in the middle of watching 200, which I hope will be obscure enough:

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 02:50:00 GMT

I am pretty sure I had never, ever, in 23 and a half years of life, actually, honest-to-God rolled on the floor laughing.

But then the guy in the shiny vest turned around.

There were nails clawing at the fucking parquet, people. When I finally came up for air, and that was quite some time later, I found Danny the Raccoon (who, unfortunately for him, was watching the episode with me) lying belly up next to me, stuffed limbs all akimbo. He looked really dead this time. I gave him CPR. (No, I mean for real. Chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth and all that.) I hope he didn't receive any permanent brain damage.

Because I sure did, and someone had better be writing this. Oh, yeah. No independent keyboards are allowed in my bedroom, oh, no. The clicking would keep me up at night.

More Lantis, oh yes.

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 23:47:35 GMT

In which more stuff makes me squee a lot.

Hey, cool camera angle! Me likey. Same goes for our OT3 here, which I have to say, is going quite strong in this episode. Good! Oh, people! Dressed like Ancients, with Ancient gadgets. Mh. Ok, this is... unexpected. But they can't be real Ancients, right? I mean... would they have been sitting on their asses this whole time? Ok, possibly, possibly. As the Ancients are about to be revealed as being about a million times worse assholes than I thought before (and believe me, that was a lot already)... more later. Now I'm busy cracking up at the amused, totally smitten look Teyla is giving Ronon as he twirls and twirls his gun like a very dexterous moron in front of the Gate. Oh, there was so much sexin' going on between Sateda and now. So so much. "I'm friendly." "Is that thing set to stun?" It wasn't. HA! So very friendly, that Ronon. *g* Oh, Elizabeth is coming along! Yay OT3! Aaand, there they go. To... Lantis 3.0? What? Probably not a U-turn, but that would be so cool. Time travel! Alternate universes! Stuff! Oooh. Ok. That's... big. Oh yeah. Hello, possibly-but-not-really Ancients. Shep doesn't look too overjoyed to meet you. Yeah, Shep, I'm totally not convinced by this one, either.

It's all Ancient design here, Lantis-like. Mmh. Hee! John and Rodney seem to agree that a civilization without cars cannot really be that cool. So, they built this, and the Wraith have never bothered them? Do they live in a very weird bubble, or something? So suspicious. Oh, Rodney! He's that guy whose thoughts, in that episode where someone becomes telepathic, are exactly the same as the stuff he says out loud. Only in this case, you know, more, with that brain of his. Oh, WHOOOA. Wow! Oh, yeah, Liz. That looks... just amazing. Wow. *shivers* Oh, yeah, they must have loads of ZPMs! Which they built? Tell him how, for heaven's sake, tell him how! "Rodney, you're slobbering!" Heeeeeee! Oh, of course he is. Loads of ZPMs! Yay! Look at Rodney running off like a kid on Christmas morning. So cute! Though, yes, I think we might want to pick the same bone with them, Shep. Where the heck have they been all this time?

Ok, Rodney, remember? Sharing too much is bad. Mind what you tell these guys, ok? Oh, excuse me. They were arrogant? Does this guy own a mirror? Oh, yeah, tell him, Ronon! There's that bone! "Where we come from, we take care of our family." Ohhhh, Ronon learned all that he had to from last week. Let me join Rodney in gazing up at him for a while. Oooh, a plan to eliminate the Wraith! Yeah, Rodney, somehow I don't think he's going to share. But that's no excuse! Rodney's so so so smart! And very good with complexity, yeah. "And scope." ... Yeah, not touching that one, Shep. It totally wasn't dirty until you smirked like that as you said it! How does he do that? God, how much do I hate this NotAncient guy? HOW MUCH?!? And his folks have to stop touching our folks, 'cause it makes me really uncomfortable.

Hahaha! Rodney and Shep are laying the verbal smackdown on Hateful Guy. Ha! Oooh. So the nice folks want to ascend, but Hateful Guy is such a jerk that he won't let them? Man.

Wheeeeeee! Cute team is playing house! Ok, not really. "ANCIENTY"! ♥ ♥ ♥ McShep = Cuteness. And was this also a joke on Joe's drawl? "There is no plan." Oh, yay, Ronon! Oh, Rodney believed them. His faith that people will be even half as sincere as he is makes me want to pet him. It's so sweet that he can be so naïve.

"Leader to leader"? I'm sorry, Liz, but you didn't really think for a second that he'd see you as even remotely equal to him, did you? This guy probably thinks the planets of his solar system revolve around him. Ok, lying and omitting about Lantis = good. But was it enough? He seems... worryingly intrigued by your 'settlement'. WTF, Liz? You don't really want your people to come here, right? This guy is the most annoying thing in the whole Universe! How could you do this to the Lanteans? "Amused?" Hey, what are we, pet hamsters? God, I want to punch him in the face. With a baseball bat. "May I suggest it runs in the family?" OH YAY LIZ! Verbal bitchslap! Go, girl!

This poor guy is really kind of nice. He will hereby be Nice Guy. "UNANCIENTY"!!! More hearts! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Oh, hey! Hey! There's bad stuff going on! No! "How much lower would you like them? ... Maybe the floor." Oh, Shep. You infinite dork. *sigh* Information they must have? OHNONONONONONO! This is bad! Bad! Somebody saaaaaaaaaaaaave them!

(Mmmh. Lex. *goes all dreamy*)

And we're in the cell again! At least this time John is not alone. For future reference, Rodney automatically assumes that jail cells will do what they're meant to, e.g. keep folks on the inside. Of course, when the bad guys come in all placid and whatnot with a giant dinner tray and leaving the door open... what ya gonna do? *shrugs and looks up* Ronon shoos Rodney away from the food, and for a moment I have this flash of Sheppard training him to taste-test for citrus. Fanfic rots your brain. The fact that Shep looks like he's barely keeping from laughing as he watches Ronon eat is not helping. Food that tastes crappy is apparently the signal for everyone on Team Lantis to either start kicking ass, or clutch their PhDs to their chests and step back to give everyone else room for asskicking. And some asskicking it is! Ronon, Shep and Teyla rock. I especially love how the boys end up with weapons in their hands like picking them up was all they had to do.

Oh, I'm sure he didn't take being shot personally, lots of people don't. (Of course, for some, like Daniel, it's all out of necessity of not killing your best friends. That one episode where everyone and their brother shot him will forever be The Funny. *g*) Oh, that's a great idea, Rodney! Go you! They're not dialing directly to Atlantis, though, are they? 'Cause that would be beyond even their very worst levels of stupid. Yay home! Yay Zlinky! Mh. Yeah, I'd hope that you're rid of them, but the episode is not even halfway over. Sorry, John. Oh, yes, yes, go check up on Rodney in your LAB of LOVE! Conveniently forget that you all wear radios! Because that is their LAB of LOVE! *hums cheesy songs with dreamy eyes* This time, though, the GeekDate can barely start, because Liz calls them both back to the Gate Room, which means Bad Stuff is going down. Like, say, SEVEN HIVE SHIPS COMING FOR DINNER! Uninvited, even! WTF?!? Scanning, scanning... FIRING! Oh noes! We lost the shield, too! The bastards told the Wraith where to shoot! NOES! Oh, Shep went outside to watch his pretty home being blasted to bits. IT'S SO SAD! Go back inside, John! Don't get blasted to bits, too! We like your bits where they are! Yes, go put them in the chair! 15 more?!? Evacuation! Dial Earth! Noooooooooooooes! (Ok, at this point we're 100% sure that This Is Not Happening. But even if they just stuck them in a holodeck to get their procedures and codes and whatnot, it still hurts like hell.) The self destruct? Oh, oh, oh... what do you mean, you'll detonate manually? Only a few seconds? You're not saying... JOHN! You can't...

"No no no no! I can't let you do this, not without tossing a coin or something, it doesn't seem right!"

... WwwwaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! RODNEY KNOWS!!! HE KNOWS! HE LOVES HIM!!! THE COIN! THEY'LL DIE FOR EACH OTHER! TRAGICNESS! ANGST! CANON!!! LOVE!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *EXPLODES*

...

Picture me, the first time I saw this, finally sitting back down in my chair after minutes and minutes of screaming, flailing, jumping around and much more assorted squee- and angst-induced madness. Picture me settling in, reaching for the keyboard, and then saying: "Oh, what the hell, five more minutes!", then getting back up and starting the jumping and flailing and screaming all over again. Because a picture, even a mental one, is worth a thousand words.

But THE ANGST IS NOT OVER! John says he appreciates the offer, but then boots them all through the Gate because they're losing everything and he LOVES THEM, DAMMIT! Elizabeth gathers up her geeks and finally goes, and John is all alone with the self destruct and he presses the button and he squeezes his eyes shut and I die even if it's not, not, not real, and there's a bright light and then John is screaming with someone's fingers stuck in his forehead. Fuck, they're Replicators!!! (Excuse my French, but... !!!) And that looks like it hurts like hell. John! John! Woooobie! Oh, yes, Rodney, it's them. CRAP!

I hate seeing nasty folks on the Control Room set. I know it's not Lantis, but still! They're activating the stardrive! Aren't they? Oh, ok, this looks cool. Woooow. AND THAT IS NOT COOL AT ALL! No killing of our team! Good thing the very poor excuses of Nice Guy are actually working. Aw, Nice Guy must be wearing an invisible T-shirt that says "I WANT ASCENSION!!!" all over it in sparkly, glow-in-the-dark glitter.

Oh, the bad people gave them headaches! *pets the team* Oh, so they had different illusions, and weren't all in the same one. Which means: Rodney may not actually know about the coin, but he probably does, or having Rodney mention it would have made John suspicious; on the other hand, the whole thing was a tiny bit wonky, so we really can't know for sure. What we do know for sure is that in John's head, the love is CANON, people. Caaaaaaaaaaaaanon. So canon it's not funny at all; in fact, it comes with oodles of sweet, sweet angst and I'll just be over there in the corner, flailing a bit more. Wheeeeeee!

So, they made Ronon fight all the time, which figures. And yes, John, too easy = bad. But! The way John zeroes in on Rodney and goes all still as he asks him what they did to him, it's like... like he's constantly afraid of this. Because Rodney says he was fucking tortured in his illusion, which, I so wish I could kick their replicated butts. Damn. Poor Rodney.

Oh, yes, girls, it could still be happening, and Rodney's choice of a reality check is... to poke John in the Hair. Heeeeeeeee! He gets his hand lightly swatted away for his trouble, but it was such a perfect excuse to see just how springy It was, he could just not let it pass. Cuteness!

Oh, God, John! No jokes about the mind probes! You're not really helping Rodney! He spent all that time inside an awful fanfic! Stop, everyone!

Oooooooooooh. Nice Guy took them out to see space. And hyperspace! Cool. But DON'T GO TO ATLANTIS! And most of all, there will be NO destroying of our city, is that CLEAR? I don't care if you feel betrayed or whatever! "Elizabeth?" Oh, Liz, your boyfriends are all worried back there. But I think they get that you have to do this. Even if it gains you Boyfriend #7843265! Man, are we still calling John Shepwhore? Because she has him totally beat.

Is that the nanovirus? No, nanites! Cool, Liz. Oh, so the Ancients made these ones? With ingrained aggression? And BIOLOGICAL ASSIMILATION? Remember I was saying how much more asshole-y than I thought the Ancients were? Multiply that by ANOTHER MILLION. Oh, and because the poor nanites didn't want to be violent, the Ancients tried to obliterate them! MULTIPLY THAT BY INFINITY!!! THIS IS MY CAPS LOCK OF RAGE!

When it's over, Teyla is totally Elizabeth's girlfriend. Aw, they're so cute! Don't cry, Liz! (I, at least, am happier right now. Rodney seems to have ditched the ugly boots, and maybe someone else, too, although not Shep.) Rodney and John have done their homework, with varying degrees of thoroughness, but they both know enough to know that their situation is totally crappy. "And then some." Oh, see, Ronon talks so little because his lines are worth ten lines of the average character. Asscones for Ronon! <3 And for Liz, whose parents/siblings analogy totally rocks in its accuracy. "Just what we need. More bad guys!" Exactly, John. Exactly. I wasn't expecting that. The nanovirus that almost killed Rodney! Heee. Teyla rocks for remembering all the technobabble they save the day with, especially because so much of it probably means next to nothing to her, who had a deprived, Trek-less childhood. Yay Teyla!

They have visits, whom Liz rightly doesn't thank when they inquire about her health. Go, Liz! Nice touch. An offer? To save Atlantis? Hell, yeah. They'll take that one to go, please. Yay for Nice Guy and his I Want Ascension T-shirt! Even if talk of Ascension makes John and Rodney do their really serious faces. I say they have issues. And rightly so! Ok, here on Earth we'd say that that kind of attachment to the parents you hate because they tried to kill you is a tad unhealthy. Oh, John, do you need to rewatch TNG? Read Asimov? You physically are a very pretty, organic machine. Therapy! Heeeeeeeeeee! *giggles* But of course Rodney can do it. Just STOP REMINDING HIM OF THE TORTURE STUFF, PEOPLE! Aagh! Good thing Rodney and Shep are in full comedic duo mode. But I don't see how Hateful Guy is ever going to even think about this, guys. And you know, Liz may still be a tiny bit of a softie (although, see later), but ultimately John's reason is the one that matters: they really have no choice here.

Bitchy Rodney! 'Screwing around' as a pretty accurate description! Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots!!! "Ok, so, what... five minutes?" Hee! And of course working with John pressuring him never... PING! Oh, right. Make that always. (Squee!) And oh God, John's face when Rodney hangs up on him! Classic!

Yay, Rodney did it, and then some! More shiny! You rock, Rodney! Mergers? A glitch! Pause button! Brilliant indeed! And BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Seven minutes and 31 seconds! A bigger number! The Bickersons are back and in full swing, baby! LOVE! Oh, yeah, let's blow shit up! And again, everyone looks at Rodney, of course! "Why don't I just go on these missions by myself, uh?" And he snaps his fingers and goes off to do do stuff all by himself. AWESOME RODNEY! YAY! Aw, Shep looks so tired.

Ooooh. So they're going to save their buddy, but blow up all the others. Not really a softie thing, uh? They are going a bit darkish lately.

HAHAHAHAHA! Shep won't stop breathing on Rodney's neck, and when he finally manages to shoo him away, John just immediately leans back in on the other side! FANTASTIC CUTENESS! So much squee today. Sooo much. *happysigh* And with only his Ancient Game Boy thingy, Rodney... ZZORT! Freezes up all the RepliAncients. Do not underestimate the power of Pac-Man. Or of bugging your genius until he reaches perfection through bitchiness. Oh, Nice Guy's awake, 'cause he has different, Nice Code now. And Ronon looks at Rodney as if to say, dude, how come? Hee. Oh, out of hyperspace! So they're right on top of Atlantis now. Hurry hurry hurry! Get home! Blow shit up!

"Ronon, I could use..." Ronon dumps the RepliAncientsicle on the floor. "Thanks." BWAHAHAHAHAH! Those two should be a sitcom. Oh, Nice Guy, please understand? "Damn!" Oh, God, now what? Oh! Rodney can't bring new toys home. Peace, Rodney. "We only have three minutes." "Look, I already told you, it- nevermind." Hee! John is such a kid! Oh, they even get to get their stuff back. Cool. UNCOOL! Hateful Guy is scary! Nonono, Rodney, don't, you know what will happen if... "MCKAY!" Yep. That. Ouch, Ronon! Yay, breakdancing Ronon! Cool! Run, my pretties! Run! ARBITRARY NUMBER YAY! These two just can't stop bickering, can they? THE STAR WARS DOORS SHOOTING TRICK! Oh, except the Imperial troopers could never do that! Eeesh! Thank God Ronon's gun works on these guys. Yes, set it to kill! Shep is fed up with them. "Practically?" "Again with the arbitrary numbers!" McKay & Sheppard to the power of INFINITE! Good thing Ronon, of all people, has retained some practical sense. Yes, go, now! PAC-MAN STRIKES AGAIN! Shep, Ronon, GO! "Get the roof open, Rodney, or this is going to be a short trip!" HE'S (sorta) QUOTING STAR WARS AGAIN! YAY! And he's sticking with Han. Wise boy. OH, but in the end, the Bickersons save the day again! WHOOO-HOOO!

Oh, a light in the sky... God, did they even know what was upon them, down on Atlantis?

Wheeeeeeeeeew. Home safe! Uh, maybe: Nice Guy? Resetting? Nonononono! Rodney, do something! ELIZABETH! Ronon and Teyla together can't get Not So Nice Anymore Guy off Elizabeth, but the power of OT3/Sparky love gives Shep the strength to shove him in the rear compartment. VENT IT, SHEP! VENT IT! GO, SHEP! Poor Guy Formerly Known As Nice. Teyla is Elizabeth's girlfriend! Rodney is Elizabeth's boyfriend even more! And...

"Are you ok?" WHOAAAA! I've just been hit by a giant shiny wave of 'SPARKY IS SO SO SO CANON!' *dons shades and sits back* Ah, much better. (... Actually, I can't see my keyboard like this, and I can't really touch type, so I have to take them off. Oh, well.) But, man, so canon. Poor John practically had a heart attack! All in all... John and Rodney are in symbiotic, bickering love. John and Elizabeth are in cute weird teenage adult love. Elizabeth and Teyla are in caring, graceful love. Ronon is in puppy love with Sheppard, and in Due South love with McKay. Ronon and Teyla are in hot warrior love. Even leaving the folks back home out of this... OTTEAM FOREVER YAY!

Zlinky is here, but if I start him in on the love thing, I'll never get to watch this week's episodes, so maybe another time. Damn the stupid Ancients. "There is nothing more annoying than people who won't admit their own mistakes!" Zlinky turns to stare at Rodney, but John says, "True!" and gives him this look, like, "we're all thinking it, but he's had a really bad day and he's also saved our asses about a trillion times in it, so maybe tomorrow, uh?" Awwwwww.

And then he goes off to do more good to the hearts of everyone on the official balcony of the City Of Atlantis Lovers Association. (Yes, they cover both meanings of the phrase. Saves time and paperwork!) Oh, the intact city. The sweet sound of the ocean. And no one blasting stuff to bits from the sky. Ahhh. *relieved sigh* Interestingly, there is no shippiness in this scene, which I actually like, because it's about something else. But sweethearts, there's no way in hell you won't see them again, sorry. May I take a moment to note that Sheppard leans on the balcony railing in a much more feminine way than Elizabeth does? Yeah, you know I just couldn't help it. Total yay for thigh holsters, though.

Ooh. Poor frozen Formerly Nice Guy. He looks a bit like he wants to cry... but mostly like he wants to KILL KILL KILL! Oh. Crap.

Off to watch this week's Lantis and 200! I'm really, really looking forward to this SG-1. *bounces*

Oh, by the way! raven_lore informs me there was some kind of Sci-Fi special on Stargate this week. Could any of you tell me for what it is spoilery, please? Just 200? I still haven't been able to figure out if I can watch the Rush Hour specials, and thus I'm going a bit mad over this kind of stuff lately. Not to mention the crazy speculation I'm doing over the title of SGA 3x08, which... I'll put it under another cut and get this off my chest, ok? DON'T READ ANY FURTHER if you don't like to know future episode titles, or speculation on them! Sorta-spoiler space->

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More title-spoiler space... Yes, I'm a paranoid spoilerphobe, how did you know? Scroll down for craziness...

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Ok, so the episode two weeks from now is called McKay and Mrs. Miller. And since I read that over a month ago, I can't stop thinking... raven_lore and I established in a game of ours that this tv season will be the season of CRACK!FIC. And... this title sounds an awful lot like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide!!! What if there is CANON GENDERFUCK in our future? My brain will go into nuclear meltdown, you hear me? NUCLEAR MELTDOWN!!! SAVE THE CHILDREN AND THE HOT AIR FORCE PEOPLE WITH THEIR GEEKS!

Now, please understand that if you tell me anything, anything at all about this episode, I will kill you from The Interweb. For real. Seriously, please, if you know more than me, and that means the episode title, who wrote it and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE... no hints, no nothing. It would be terrible for me, I assure you, to have this one ruined after I've been hyping myself up for so long. It's just a tv show, but I know you understand. I just needed to write this down so in the very remote case that I'm right, and the even remoter one that I'm alive after that, I can say: "HA! I totally called that!" Thank you.

Late, but I couldn't let this one pass.

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 03:22:26 GMT

It was too cute! Video games and heartfeltness and woobieness, oh my.

Look! Trees! We never get any of those. Although the different, blueish light is an appreciable effort. As is Shep's leather jacket! (Heeey.) Which, hilariously, he hasn't shared with the rest of the team. He so has coolness issues. Who wouldn't, around Ronon and Teyla and their wardrobe? Back on the actual show, Rodney's telling Teyla that he constantly feels like doom is upon him, and only actually worries when someone else has the same feeling, such as Ronon has right now. Can I just hug him now, please? Oh, Rodney. John gives us another hint that he might just be completely direction-impaired, saying all the planets and villages look the same to him. Then he adds another rough equivalent of "What could possibly go wrong?", and I start counting down from three. At zero, the villagers see Ronon and start screaming and running around and picking up weapons. Shep just never learns. *sigh* Ok, but now that they're pointing things at you, you guys could, you know, do anything that's not standing around and chatting amiably? Otherwise, one of you might just, and please let me say I practically saw this one coming in perfect slow-motion, get an arrow in his ass. Three guesses as to who, and remember that two members of the team are inherently too cool for that to happen to them on tv, and another one lacks an actual ass for the arrow to lodge into. Yeah. Poor Rodney.

"THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!!!" No, Rodney, which is the only reason I'll refrain from any lame jokes involving Cupids and arrows and heart-shaped things. That, and the fact that Joe Flanigan was in Cupid and it would just get all weird. John grabs Rodney and starts helping him to the Gate, sending the fangirls squeeing just a tiny little bit. Tiiiiny. As they run, limp, shoot and whine very loudly (and can you blame him? I'd be like that over a freaking splinter), we learn that Rodney knows all the symbols to all the planets they've ever Gated to (neat!), and John totally doesn't. Can we get him a little tourist guide to Pegasus for Christmas? Teyla, still all with the cover fire business, tells John to get his boyfriend back home. So John gets Rodney to the DHD and goes back for Teyla and Ronon, which would have been a half-useful idea if the Cool People hadn't been downed by two lousy narcotic darts. Those always work. I wonder why the bad guys still waste time on all the other weapons. Anyway, while John contemplates how to carry Teyla and Ronon home, he gets hit by a dart himself, mutters the obligatory "Oh, crap," and goes down in the usual pretty sprawl. Poor Rodney is lying on the floor of the Gate Room, and Elizabeth runs down the stairs in heels WTF to check on him and ask where Shep and CO are. With perfect tv timing, the Gate shuts down just as Rodney finishes saying they're right behind him. All that Liz can do is pet his shoulder and look really, really worried. To quote Hermiod, crap indeed.

John doesn't look surprised at all to wake up inside an alien cell, surrounded by hostile people. I guess you just get used to that. But I bet not everyone can be as cute as he is in this situation. *pets the crazy Hair* Though Teyla comes close, and she and Sheppard make up a tag team of cuteness as Ronon has flashbacks to the first time he was here. I'm guessing this is the village he 'accidentally' got too close to when he was a Runner. Poor guy. He's sorry! *pats his dreads* John seems to think that being laid back and cracking half-jokes will get them out of here, so Teyla steps up to the plate, and she really needs to, because, whoa, are these folks STUPID or what? They've actually activated a Wraith beacon! 'Cause the Wraith promised they'd leave the village alone if they gave up Ronon in case he ever came back. Teyla has "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID" written across her face in bold neon letters. And John is actually quite freaked out.

Oh my God, Rodney! On DRUGS! This is the best thing ever. Pretty horsies! Now, you have to know that the first two times I watched this scene, when Rodney asks for Sheppard, instead of "He looks like you," I heard "He's really cute." I'll let you imagine my reaction to that. (Or not. It was something along the lines of SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSQUEEEEEEE!!! You get the drift.) These slash earphones are both a blessing and a curse. But they totally couldn't make me imagine the "Oh, darn, our poor Rodney misplaced his boyfriend. Again." look that Carson gives him here. Nonono. The pretty girl and the caveman (HEEEEE!) had better bring him home in one piece. Well, two if you want to count the Hair as a separate entity. But still. I have to say, while the military guy (where is Lorne? He was supposed to be in this one! Where is my wee cute geekloving Major?) is no fun, Rodney and his drugged-to-the-gills ass totally make up for that.

Ronon has knives everywhere! That will never stop being marginally funny. "Hey, buddy, you want to let me in on this plan?" And Cam thought he was the one having trouble controlling his team. With Ronon out of puppy mode, Shep just has no hope here. Oh, Ronon, Shep and Teyla don't want to leave you behind, you know them. Why don't you TAKE THE BLADE AWAY FROM YOUR THROAT? Eeeep! "They're good people." Aw, puppy! You're killing me! Poor Shep and Teyla are forced to leave, and they look so. Sad. Don't worry, guys, remember you're on tv! And Jason's still in the credits.

John and Teyla step through the Gate, demand vests and guns, say hi to Liz, ask after Rodney, collect a few Marines, and step right back through. Unfortunately, they were still not quick enough, as we see Ronon being brought before, not a Queen, but the damn ugliest Wraith ever. He's bald, for heaven's sake! I like to think he yanked out all of his pretty Wraith hair out of frustration over never ever getting to catch Ronon the Runner. Go, Ronon! Also, all the people at Stupid Village are... deadsies. (Almost five seasons of Scrubs in a month might be a bit much, I admit.) Like that surprises us. It does leave John looking all kinds of worried and guilty, though, because all they find of Ronon is his big cool gun. Someone feed John hot cocoa, please?

Oh, man, not again! Wraith tracking devices suck. Oh, so this guy is the one who pretty much obliterated Ronon's people, uh? Ok. We do not in any way want to kill him. Nooooo. Worse. So, this is Sateda. And these are Ronon's traumatic flashbacks. And that is Ronon running again. Not of the good.

... I have to ask, Mr. Young Hip Wraith that's going to hunt for Ronon. WTF? Those are the most ridiculous goggles I've ever seen. Does he think he looks cool, or something?

Oh, John. He just won't ever give up on anyone. Aw. Well, Rodney, if you didn't accomplish five impossible things before breakfast every day, you might be allowed to say they ask too much of you. Just don't spoil the kids, love, there's no coming back from that.

Hey, Ronon had a girlfriend! (Wife?) I didn't see that coming. But of course, this episode couldn't have been angsty enough without her. Oh no.

Ok, is this wannabe cool Wraith the worst at stealth ever? Did he get kicked out of stealth class? Was he busy perusing a catalog of cool shades as the teacher spoke? It doesn't matter, 'cause hey, his eyes glow and he can see in the dark! It's all useless, though. Things start getting a lot like a video game I played once, especially the sound effects, and then the Wraith is very dead and Ronon is very pissed.

John goes looking for Rodney in the lab of Geek!Love. He finds him lying on his stomach in front of his laptop, which is something I did a lot when I had a laptop and hadn't even been shot in the ass with arrows. Anyway, when Rodney does it, it's cute. When John sits cross-legged down on the floor next to him, it's cuter. When he cracks a lame joke and Rodney calls him on it without really looking annoyed at all, the cuteness makes me melt. I keep turning into goo all over my armchair as in very soft voices Rodney and John discuss how the tracking is going, and Rodney finds a signal on Sateda, and everything is filled with cuteness, and this lab is forever labeled as the place for John and Rodney's sweet geeky dates. I don't think anyone else is even allowed in there any more. Squee!

Seeing Ronon jumping down from the landing instead of taking the last flight of stairs is a lot like seeing Starsky and Hutch hop and slide all over the hoods of their cars. Very cool-looking, but ultimately... uh? And oh, he's being tracked by an Imperial drone! No, wait. Wrong show. Sort of.

Oh, I see they all have those black boots I don't like now. Come on, guys! The sneakers were so cute. *pouts* Oh, come on, Uncle Skinner, you can't... put your crew at risk. Oh. *deflates* I just can't yell at him when he's being a good captain, oh captain. Shep'll do the yelling (well, not really) and the finger pointing and the getting in his face (for real!) for all of us, because he. Does. Not. Give. Up. On. His. People. In his desperateness (wow! Who knew that was an actual word?), he says Caldwell doesn't want to save Ronon 'cause he's not in the US military, which gets a hearty "Uh?" on my part and makes me think John wasn't quite talking about Ronon there. Well, the speculation on John's past will have to wait. Right now I'm busy cheering for him as he gets Uncle Skinner to agree to let them hitch a ride on the Daedalus with a cloaked Jumper to get to Sateda, and also cheering a bit for Carson as he so matter-of-factly says he's going along. Yay team! This time, though, Uncle Skinner says he won't step in and get their asses out of the frying pan. "You say that as if we're always getting in trouble," John throws in as he leaves, and while behind his back Elizabeth is desperately trying not to laugh, Caldwell does this AWESOME face, like, "Was he mocking me? But wouldn't he actually be mocking himself? I just don't get him."

EW! Damp, decomposed corpses! I guess that cup of tea I wanted will have to wait a while now. Or maybe I really need it now, since Ronon has flashbacks to match every body to a face he knew, and as he walks among the dead, the last flashback is of himself. Oh, puppy! *angsts* That's it, I'm off to make disgustingly sweet, soothing tea.

*comes back clutching her giant, pink Piglet mug* What? I need this! *clutches harder*

This new Wraith's overall look is very... bard-like. As the proud player of a relatively new white-haired, blue-skinned bard (half air elemental, not Wraith, of course. God, could I be any more geeky?), I can in no way take him seriously. (Also, my D&D character is way prettier.) Of course, he helps, because he falls for the old ceiling trick and is dead in less than seven seconds. Yay Ronon! Although, allow me to say... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! The slo-mo grenade! So pretentious! Hahahahahaha! (Except he kind of pulls that off. Darn him and his endless coolness.) Cue next flashback! In which the girl may be annoying, but Ronon is fucking fantastic, and smart, and aware, and he actually talks, you know, as much as anyone else, and I think the line to give him a big hug starts waaaay over there. "You can't run forever." Ok, Sheppard could give lessons to this one about how not to bring doom on yourself and your loved ones. Dude.

Back to the present. In a warehouse, Ronon has placed loads of weapons in seemingly random places. Also, he has a gun that can shoot a linebacker Wraith ten feet back into the air, and I wonder why he doesn't get stuff like this for his team, and then I see Sheppard trying to use one and ending up on his skinny ass twenty feet back from where he pulled the trigger, and I think I've answered myself. While I'm busy with Cartoon!Shep, the flashbacks ambush me with their renewed drama and reenact the last few minutes of the battle of Serenity Valley, with Ronon as Mal and no Zoe to be seen anywhere, which, can you say boy, that sucks? Mean flashbacks! But Ronon lifts my mood again, showing that he actually planted all the guns for his really cool choreography, in which he jumps and rolls and tosses his hair back while shooting lots and lots of bad guys. raven_lore informs me this is 100% John Woo. I've only seen Once a Thief out of all his stuff (I know! I'm hopeless), but I totally believe her. Ooops! Self-destruct! Run, Ronon, run!

... faster, I meant. Oooooooooooooooops. Ronon? Puppykins? You still there?

Ok, let me collect myself before I get to this next scene, because I'm going to need all of my deep, innate calm for it. *breathes deeply* Ok, let's give it a try.

John sits in the cafeteria on the Daedalus, eating and playing on an unidentified handheld thingy. This is already a thing of noticeable cuteness, but let's go a bit further. Teyla comes in and thanks John for going after Ronon so determinedly, to which both John and I go slightly "uh?", because, have you met John, Teyla? But as it turns out, it's because she kind of has an issue where she feels she and Ronon are 'outsiders', and she doesn't take for granted that they'll be cared for like the folks from Earth. To which John and I go even more "uh?", because, he adores Teyla and Ronon, and when has he ever cared about stuff like that? But then John starts to act all embarrassed, and I think I need to quote the rest of this in its entirety to retain a modicum of sanity and not explode from keeping all the love in.

John, all embarrassed and cute as a bug: "Look, Teyla, I'm not really good at- actually, I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you call it..."
Teyla: "Feelings?"
John: "... Yeah, sure, ok. Point is, I don't really have good, uh..."
Teyla: "Social skills."
John, after making a dozen faces along the lines of, ok, if you wanna call it that: "Well, that is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness happened, but, you should know, I don't have..."
Teyla: "Friends?"
John, looking kinda hurt: "No! I have friends." He gets more serious, and gives in a bit, explains."You, Elizabeth, Ronon, Carson, even Rodney, are the closest thing I have to..."
Teyla: "A family?"

And... here John gets really serious, and says: "I'd do anything. For any one of you. If I had to give up my life, the way Ronon was going to... I would."

And his voice goes all small, and the last words are barely whispered, and he's biting his lips and HE HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES, and... I can't. I just can't. God, if they wanted me dead, they could have just... just... no, ok, this was their best shot. I'm dead. I'm so dead it's not even funny. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN! ç_______ç Damn you, writers! You made it look like it was going to be Arcade Town, and now this! THIS! *reaches for the Kleenex* See, they're trying to defuse this a bit, because now John is reaching out and patting Teyla's hand in the MOST awkward way ever (come on! I know, girl cooties, but you can do this, John!), and she thanks him for what he 'meant' to say, and it's funny as heck, ok, but he puts his head down and leaves without turning around, and, oh, it's all useless anyway. I'm all broken. *shakes fists* This was not in the contract, people! John randomly getting emotional and spilling this in an episode that's not even a two-parter?!? LOW! Total low blow! How am I supposed to recover now? HOW? *chugs down the last of her lukewarm tea* Eesh. That didn't help. (Not to mention the deep, beautiful calm fled out the window before they even got to his last line. Coward.) Heeeeelp! I love him too much! Too much love! Too much! *whimpers*

Ok. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Aw, widdle Ronon hurt his leggykins!

Aw, widdle Rodney hurt his bummykins (ok, a while back), and he is actually being a bit of a baby about it. Again, I think of myself on the dentist's chair and write odes to his infinite courage. And then I fall to the floor laughing at the sight of his boxers, 'cause, Shep's might be sorta silly, but Rodney's are the most GODAWFUL piece of underwear I've ever laid eyes on. I have images of Paul and other assorted people going from store to store in search of the perfect hideous pair for David to wear in this episode, and I am filled with glee.

Carson is bugging Rodney about choosing to go on the mission even if he's hurt, and Rodney says of course he cares about what happens to Ronon, they're buddies, they have an unspoken bond, and since he saved his life, Ronon is actually like a brother to him. You know what? I believe him to the last word, and from the fond smile he pulls behind Rodney's back, so does Carson. CUTE! *hugs them both*

Ronon has gotten to the hospital, but as he pulls out the piece of shrapnel from his leg, he has flashbacks to when he went there to get his girlfriend/wife. And he picked up orphaned little girls, and he said all the people around him were dead, and then his girlfriend died in front of him, and he wasn't screaming and crying from the pain at all. WOOOOOOOOBIEEEE!!! Can I adopt you? *hugs Ronon*

Damn right he's a coward! Tell him! But then, oh, then, the blessed sound of P-90 fire, which means Shep came to the rescue! Yay! Though, seriously, Teyla, does the guy look ok to you? Also, WHOA! Puppy, what did I tell you about pointing guns at Shep? BAD! BAD! And oh, God, of course he doesn't want to leave. Man. Look, up in the Jumper Rodney's all worried! There are oodles of Wraith coming! "Well, too bad! You tell that ungrateful example of unevolved humanity that we came all the way to rescue him, so he'd better get off his ass-" "... McKay says he's very hurt that you won't come with us." HA! And they say the man sucks at diplomacy. *g* Oh, come on, did Ronon really think the Wraith would spare the villagers? Come on! I've been saying you're smart all this time! Don't make me wrong, Ronnie! Poor Shep. He never has it easy.

Rodney's going fully into the bitchy-worried stage. But Shep has to have this really meaningful scene in which he holds his hand out, and Ronon grasps his wrist, and he pulls him up, and they stare at each other in this very manly, very very gay way, and Ronon is about eight feet taller than Sheppard, and his gun is about as big as Shep's chest, and Ronon is all gruff, and Shep is all, whatever, I'd do the chicken dance if it meant getting my people home safe, and Rodney yells from the Jumper, "What the hell is going on down there?" And he means why the hell are you crazy people going off to get yourselves killed, but there's probably fanfic being written somewhere out there in the world that says otherwise. Erm.

Rodney gets more worried, and thus more pissy, and says this is the stupidest plan he's ever heard, for which I heart him muchly, while Carson instead looks rather impressed by how fast the blips that are the Wraith are disappearing. But to really, really reassure Rodney that they can pull this off, Teyla is keen on adding that "Ronon seems quite angry." BWAH! Fantastic.

These Wraith go down pretty easily, but Carson and Rodney are still worried, so Carson makes to grab the really, really big gun and go down there to help, only to have Rodney grab the gun as well and protest that he should be the one to go. THEY ARE SO CUTE AND BRAVE OMG! *squishes the Docs*

Ok, Ronon, that was a cool move. Go you! You are so unnecessarily choreographic! We love you. Teyla and Shep are the Pretty Tag Team now. And they're kicking ass.

Carson and Rodney are still fighting over the really big gun when Shep & CO call in that they're done killing all the Wraith. Shep says he got six, and Teyla got... "Eight," Teyla supplies, and Shep says he got nine, Teyla got eight, and Ronon got the rest, and man, he's braver than I thought, for I dare not imagine their next sticks practice. Eee.

"You want me? COME AND GET ME!" While several thousands fangirls' underwear spontaneously combust, the big, ugly Wraith finally deigns to get off his ugly arse and come down to beat Ronon up himself. Crazy Ronon tells Shep and Teyla that if they kill Ugly Wraith before he does, he will kill them. Teyla looks quite bewildered, and Shep's face is all, "Oooookay! Not like I didn't sign up for this, after all, and besides, what ya gonna do? He's way bigger than both of us put together."

Ok, so Ugly Wraith beams down, and they're about to go all High Noon on each other's ass, or at least I think, because they're both unarmed? Ok, I didn't think Ronon was that crazy. Whoa. And OUCH! Ugly Wraith is wiping the very dirty floors of Sateda with Ronon and his dreads, and up on their sniper roof, Shep is asking Teyla if she thinks Ronon would really kill him for shooting Ugly Wraith, and she kinda looks like she really wants to say yes. Plus, as she reminds him, there's a hive in orbit ready to blast the heck out of them as soon as Ugly Wraith is dead. Which is bad. What is good about this scene, at least for me, is that in the promo pictures for it you can clearly see that the Bring Your Own Beloved Geek To Distant Alien Worlds fashion and health regime of the SGC works just fine in the Pegasus Galaxy, too, and Sheppard is totally going gray. (Proof!) Especially in the sideburns. (More Proof!) Which I find infinitely hot. I'll just sit here and enjoy this while I can, because I have the sneaking suspicion they're going to dip Joe's head in Grecian Formula as soon as they realize. It would be so cool if they didn't, but... oh, well, we'll see.

Go, Ronnie! Oh, it looked like he had a chance, but then there's only more floor-wiping, and Ugly Wraith looks like he's going in for the killing blow... until the Jumper decloaks three feet from Ugly Wraith's face, and from inside Rodney gives him his smuggest expression ever, and Carson says: "If he doesn't like it, he can sue me," and closes his eyes, and Ronon grins at Ugly Wraith and says: "I win." (With the strength of friendship! You get it? Do you get it? Like a motivational anime movie!) And I cheer like crazy as Carson lets a glowy squid loose on Ugly Wraith's ass, and he hilariously flies all the way to that wall over there and then gets blown to bits. Yay Carson! And yay Rodney for some pretty smooth piloting he's doing to let the others get in the back of the jumper and then run from the blasts from the hive, and yay Ronon for winning through the power of friendship (imagine this written in sparkly neon pink pen), and yay John and Teyla for dragging Ronon into the Jumper, and all in all, YAY TEAM!

Oh, Carson and Rodney came out of the front of the Jumper all smiling! Cute! Oh, Ronon, down, boy! John's face as he tells them about Ronon's threats is so funny! HUG! HUGSIES! "Thanks, Doc." AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! "What, him you thank?" "I could have killed him at any time, but Teyla wouldn't let me!" ... Do Rodney and John want a hug, too? They do! Heehehehehehe! Fantastic! Look how they downplay the thanks once they get it. Such boys! *squishes them madly* "I only killed eleven... twelve Wraith..." Teyla's face spells "Consider your ass kicked, buddy," as clearly as anything could. Oh, John's in for trouble! But no matter now, 'cause Ronon is being woobielicious and thanking everyone and then toppling over as Becket offers a sedative to pull out the tracking device. Hee! Teyla and Carson follow him out of frame, and leave John and Rodney to have a moment of utter cuteness as John asks who's flying the ship, and Rodney points at himself, as if he's surprised by the question, and says he is. And then Shep tilts his head and gives him this look, that says, "You really sure you are?" but is filled with an inexplicable amount of love, and I'm not sure how it got there, but thank you, Joe, because it is, and it's so lovely and sweet. So Rodney goes, "Oh!" and goes back to flying them all home, John pulls this face like, "How did I fall in love with this guy? Only me." And the Jumper cloaks, and they live happily ever after. Or at least until the next Sci-Fi Friday.

And now, the usual Stargate babbling from last week...

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 04:04:28 GMT

In which the Crack!Fic season starts to bloom.

Oh, bless you, John! *passes the Kleenex* One day, I want to see an episode of a show where a character has a cold, or something, just for the hell of it, without it being a plot point. That will be a great day. Yeah.

(I'm five seconds into the episode, and already wandering. If I were you, I'd run for the hills now.)

Mh, so, they wanna build a bridge of Stargates between the two galaxies, so that they can go back and forth in half an hour in a Jumper. Rodney seems particularly eager to always be able to go to and from Earth at any moment, which, I'll have to think about it, you know? It's the other side of that 'want to spend the rest of their life on Atlantis' thing I mentioned in the post on SG-1. Anyway, I can't begin to list the reasons I think this is suchabadideaomg, and I'll just say instead that I hate it because I hate that they have access to Earth. If it were up to me, I'd break the Daedalus's intergalactic drive. This was better in Season 1, to me. (Although the crossover stuff is just precious and almost worth it. Unless you count that my favourite 'crossover' ep is Grace Under Pressure, so...)

Ok: when the people are this nice, it's bad. Believe me, guys. The next line in my notes reads: "Ronon & Teyla no like J&R looking at boobies!" I don't think it needs editing. Oh, the look between John and Rodney, and McKay's face when the guy says he has several wives! Priceless. Just priceless. And that look on John's face when the guy starts talking to Teyla? That's his 'Ok, that makes me uncomfortable, but as I know her, I'll just be over here, enjoying the MASSIVE CAN OF WHOOPASS that Teyla's about to dump on that guy. Rodney, do we have popcorn?' look. Uh, CreepyGuy, GEROFF TEYLA! (I'm going to type stuff like that a lot, aren't I? *considers macros*) I love that Rodney was the one to intervene here. (Although maybe it's just that he doesn't see Teyla sparring every day and is less scared of interrupting her asswhooping. Mh.) And go John for stepping in when people were laughing at Rodney, 'cause, man, did you see how miserable that made him? Poor sweetheart. *pets Rodney* CreepyGuy, don't touch John! He doesn't like that. And look at Ronon taking Teyla's shoulders as they start walking among the CreepyPeople! Such a good, sweet puppy. *pets Ronon* *gets hand tangled in dreads* Darn!

Oooh, who knows what's in that mysterious little flask! Who knows! I really can't guess what the significance of it to this episode might be, if any! Can you? *gets off the Sarcasm Box*

Credits. I take this moment to say that Joe's faces in this KILLED ME DED. DED DED DED. Now she ded from Joe, and so on. Just so I don't mention this every time he's on screen, but just once or twice, on the very best ones, purely for your sake, of course.

At lunch, CreepyGuy still says Teyla'd make a good wife. Ronon looks amused (see the above 'oh, she's SO going to kick your ass' attitude). Teyla looks pissed. Rodney looks perplexed and slightly worried. John looks... kind of drugged, actually. Did he take some local over-the-counter cold medicine? John? *waves hand in front of his face* Ok, CreepyGuy needs to stop interrupting Rodney, because it's making him (CreepyGuy, I mean, of course) even more annoying, if that's possible. Eeesh. John is so... mellow. (Totally high on intergalactic NyQuil, dudes.) The way he looks when he says, sorry, CreepyGuy can't have a Jumper! So very very cute. Ohhh. *packs him up and takes him home* CreepyGuy is making him so uncomfortable. I have to say, this attitude of his, where in his world, if he wants, he HAS, is scaring the crap out of me. And then, then he does something potentially even scarier. To Sheppard, he says:

"You gotta have some other stuff that you wanna trade, right, ok, like, like, how do you get your hair to go like that?"

Cue UTTER SILENCE. In which Teyla hangs her head, Ronon looks way more amused than before, and John looks deeply, deeply, deeply wounded.

For seven whole seconds.

And then, as I gasp out my last, laughing breath, John takes a deep breath of his own, thanks the CreepyPeople for lunch, says they're late for 'that important thing', gets up, and tries fleeing the horrible, dreadful place where someone dared imply he uses product. Meanwhile, his team scramble to follow him before he goes totally psycho (I swear, they look scared! Although Ronon does take the time to swipe extra food from the table), I make plans from the grave to kill whoever chose NOT to show us Rodney's reaction to that line, and HEY, DISTURBING: at one word from CreepyGuy's mouth, the CreepyPeople won't let them pass and seem close to turning into a CreepyAngryMob. Luckily, CreepyGuy backtracks and Shep & CO are free to go, although more than slightly freaked out and kind of filled with very justified loathing for CreepyGuy, if I'm reading them correctly. I know I would be. (I mean, John's hair! Dude.)

Rodney and John do tell Elizabeth that the guy is 'noxious' and 'unctuous', so I guess we're kind of on the same boat. (I think I'm way more scared, but hey, they're supposedly Big Damn Heroes. Supposedly.) So, of course, they send Carson to the CreepyPlanet ALL ON HIS OWN. Don't these people ever learn? EVER? It's so frustrating!

On CreepyPlanet, Carson is, like, totally unimpressed. And so weirded out when CreepyGuy offers him a CreepyPotion (this is starting to sound like the Smurfs. DISTURBING!) to get women, that he neglects to mention that A) he's TOTALLY GAY, and B) in spite of that he has a totally kickass girlfriend. Literally kickass. Oh, go on, Carson, keep subtly mocking him. You're lifting my spirit. But for heaven's sake, say NO to the meal with this guy! The meal totally doesn't sound good.

And neither does John's cough. *makes him tea and wraps him in a blanket* Rodney has a quota! Hee. He totally wants to show up the stupid people who wouldn't let him eat in their corridors. Hi back there, Zlinky! *waves* No, see, guys, Carson asking for extra time on the CreepyPlanet? BAD. BAD! Do I have to put up signs in the Gate room? Motivational posters that say "Have you turned on your brain cells today?" and "Please check your STUPID at the door"? What?

Oh, yeah, CreepyGuy's an amazing storyteller! NOT. Though Carson seems... quite... taken. o_o Also, quite... gay. Well, gayer. Oh, sure, what's a little brain damage between friends? Oh, hey, GET YOUR HANDS OFF CARSON, YOU CREEP! Yikes! Carson, what are you doing? The first rule of Atlantis is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ATLANTIS! Well, not now, when maybe three and a half Wraith haven't yet heard that it's still around! God.

Ok, I have to rectify: the first rule of Atlantis is that you do not bring CreepyGuys home with you, never ever! EVER! I've never seen Elizabeth so pissed, and for good reason. Oh my God, CreepyGuy, STAY AWAY FROM LIZ! You're going to make me wear my caps lock key down to a thin wafer of HATRED.

While Liz tries to give a scarily cheery Carson a dress down, Shep practices his Wall Window Slight Lean of Subtle Sexiness (With Added Thigh Holster Action). It's a tricky move, you see, since what you're leaning against is a clear surface, and so you must look really good from a 360° perspective, without seeming like you're trying to at all. I must say, he's good. Also, he and Rodney are adequately angry, too. Especially over the gourds. Though I don't get why John doesn't quite agree with Elizabeth's definition of Carson'd behaviour: 'smitten' is exactly the perfect word for it. Ha! Shep is trying really hard to do the pissed-off face, but at this, he totally sucks. (Unless folks are invading his home and telling him they've killed or are going to kill his friends, but that's not trying to look pissed, that's being fucking FURIOUS.)

Oh, look! More gay extras! John and Rodney are going on a ~~date~~ Gate scout, so Ronon and Teyla are left guarding CreepyGuy. Who gives me the heebie-jeebies more and more as the ep goes on. Oh, God, SAVE CARSON! Save him from his CreepyClutches! Nonononono, no alliances, no chances, just get him the hell away from our pretty city and out pretty people, please!

CreepyGuy, to Teyla: "You don't like me yet, do you?" Ronon, to CreepyGuy: "Yet?" Oh, Ronon, puppy, please, kill him. Kill him now. CreepyGuy: "Isn't she something"? Ronon: "Yeah. (Mine, you bitch. OFF!)" God, get out of Teyla's face or I'll kill you, CreepyGuy. But I probably won't have to. I'll just have to tell Shep that you asked Ronon about his hair, too, and you'll be dead in less time than it takes for him to spell PWNED! on your chest in bullet holes.

(CreepyGuy is bringing out my violent side. I'm so ashamed.)

(Not.)

This conversation between Carson and Elizabeth never ever ever happened. ANTI-STUPID MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS THIS HIGH, PEOPLE!

Oh, God, enough with the creepy! He's disgusting, ok? Also, only Ronon is authorized to wear pants that lace up the ass. Gah.

If that isn't the ugliest candle ever... Elizabeth's face is ten kinds of hilarious, though. Ok, EW. Poor Liz. Oi, hands off, HANDS OFF! Besides candles, Liz? You don't want to know what he wants to offer you. You really don't. *shivers*

Hey, the lovebirds are back! And they find Chuck alone in the control room, drinking hot cocoa and composing poems in his head (I guess). Apropos of nothing, Sheppard has ditched the cute sneakers and is wearing some big weird boots. I do not approve.

Oh, man, this is bad. He has everyone enthralled now. Look at Ronon! Shep and Rodney are so weirded out, it's not even funny. Total Twilight Zone moment for them, here. Zlinky is fangirling in Czech, which, ok, fantastic, but CREEPYGUY NEEDS TO GET HIS DIRTY HANDS OFF OF EVERYONE! OFF WITH HIS HANDS! *pants* Rodney is worried; John is *pouty*, like, 'Hey, isn't that supposed to be me? Boy, it sucks being on this side of popular.' He's so sad that no one loves him any more. Hee! Don't worry, John, you've still got Rodney. And about thirty million fangirls. There, there. *pats*

Pissed-Off Twin Powers, Activate! John and Rodney have gathered their little ex-posse to understand what the heck is going on. Rodney can only keep up the hard-ass façade until Ronon asks him if he's got a problem, at which he timidly points to John and says that he doesn't, but Shep might. Does Rodney know how camp he gets when he's nervous, you think? *g* Oh, God, Teyla, please, some dignity! (Although your top is fabulous, me dear. Good colour!) John is being very calm and reasonable here, which is ok, because it's way better not to get confrontational with the creepy nodding people who are supposed to be your very idiotic, but still kinda rational friends, you know?

"This is creeping me out." No, John, really? You're the only one, believe me. To get back to your date with Rodney in the lab (look, it's all about the soft-spoken lines, the way they sit, and the giant hot pink slash goggles I'm wearing. Trust me)... they're geeking out over old episodes of Batman, and who played Catwoman, and, and, GEEKLOVE! There's pure geeklove going on here! <3 Only John realizes how geeky they're being, looks slightly embarrassed, and nods to Rodney to go back to work. How much do I love this scene? How much? This much! It's FANTASTIC! Wheeeeeeee! *spins the scene around in a merry little dance* Oh, so Rodney did lots of cool spy stuff, including sneaking into CreepyGuy's room and retrieving the empty vial. Cool job, Rodney. John says Carson is "out picking daffodils for his new friend". There are three little letters missing from that sentence (B-O-Y), but we'll let this one go.

New motivational poster for the Gate room: "SHARING YOUR VERY IMPORTANT PLANS WITH RANDOM CREEPYGUYS IS BAD, KIDS. JUST SAY NO." Zlinky, Liz! Go off to make babies and stop giving out information! Mostly, stop listening to what CreepyGuy says. This can only be bad news. HANDS OFF ELIZABETH! Come on, Zlinky, why don't you deck him?

"Dr. Weir." Uh, now John's really getting pissed off. Oh, now she cares about Rodney's quota? Man. Ok, now John IS really pissed off, and counting the ways he can kill CreepyGuy. "John, are you questioning my authority?" Oh, like that's new, Liz. Now, if only John could pull off 'authoritarian' any better than a slightly wet pet hamster. *sigh* Oh, well.

Nonononononono. There will not be any doing of any something about John, you hear me, CreepyGuy? Meep!

Oooh, Shep's mad. Yeah, I'd say that "everybody's nuts" pretty much covers the situation, John. WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE RODNEY ALL ALONE IN NUTSTOWN! The next motivational poster is gonna hang by your gelled-up bangs, man.

Oh, the poor CreepyPeople are all sickly! Now Shep's really worried.

Oh, the city looks empty when he comes back... except for Rodney in Elizabeth's office with CreepyGuy. Nonononono! Rodney! Creepified and gayer than ever. Poor thing. Step away from the creepy, Rodney! Even if marmots are cute! Ok, the casual, cheery way in which he mentions that CreepyGuy had Ronon hold him against the wall? Help me. *shivers* He must have been so scared, poor thing. Why does this episode just keep getting more and more subtly terrifying?!? Now Shep is all alone with a city full of nuts. Among the nuts, even. Oh, man, a friendly Rodney is a scary thing. And Elizabeth is making food? Uh, ok, no getting in John's face, CreepyGuy. OFF! While knowing that Carson can walk on his hands is kind of (ok, very) entertaining, we don't need you to demonstrate, Rodney, and anyway, THIS IS NOT THE TIME! Oh, the CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY identical huge smiles on Rodney and CreepyGuy's faces have finished what knowing that Carson, Ronon and Teyla went off picking flowers in Wraithland started, and now John looks actually a bit scared. But mostly like he wants to kill CreepyGuy a lot.

How wrong is it to see Rodney being all protective of CreepyGuy? Plus, this whole thing made John do the wide-eyed "Oh God, are my people really alive?" face, which is unforgivable in its cruelness. "Exciting"? I'll bet, they look high as kites! Man, John is this close to losing it. This close. Deep breaths, Johnny. Oh, look. I won't even use caps lock any more if you just stop hugging my precious characters, ok, CreepyGuy?

WOAH! Don't go pointing those guns at Shep, guys! Ronon! Shep looks so betrayed. Down! Down! This is too scary. Something wrong with John, my ass. He's finally even figured out that he has to lay low. Good boy, Shep, make excuses and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Regrouping is certainly in order here. (Although, can you technically regroup if you're alone?) This image of John being cut off from the people he loves by his own Marines is unbearably sad. John! *hugs him*

(They did paint the walls, though! See?)

HUD = Heads Up Display. Nice! But GET CREEPYGUY OUT OF THE JUMPER! You haven't given him the gene therapy, have you? Oh, good, they haven't. Yet.

John is all shy and whispery in the doorway to the infirmary. Oh, this is going to be fun.
JOHN: "Uh, doc? Can I speak to you for a sec? I... think there might be something wrong with me."
CARSON: *pats John's shoulder* "It's alright, son. Admitting it is the first step."
JOHN: *hangs his oh-so-contrite, shameful face and motions for Carson to follow him outside, like, 'not in front of other people, please, this is hard enough as it is.'*
SHEEP: "JOHN'S COMING OUT TO CARSON!!! HI-LAR-I-OUS."
JOHN: *shoots Carson with a stunner*
CARSON: "Oh, crap." *faints* (Into John's arms. Ah, the envy. Even if he is a bit unconscious.)
SHEEP: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The End.

Oh, seeing Rodney be pissy is very comforting, you know? Oh, the sky is so blue. And cloaking the Jumper is a good idea. Hey, this is a kidnapping! Cool. John was carrying Carson? Erm. Whoa. *fans self* Er, I mean, neat. Neat. *clears throat* And how come these episodes are so filled with John/Carson? I think they have a schedule to fit in good scenes for every possible pairing before the end of this season. They're doing an excellent job, so far. Hey, John stole Rodney's computer, too! He's still good at the sneaky stuff. Ok, all together now: LIZ, DON'T TOUCH THE CREEP! Ew.

Oh, poor Carson. Everyone and their brother are kidnapping him and tying him up these days, aren't they? Of course, this is an 'intervention', really. "The [CreepyGuy] Fan Club"! Hee. John is so crap at the science-y exposition, even when he has Rodney's notes to read from. *g* "Easily influenced"? Euphemistically speaking!

"You mean literally... an addictive personality?" OH, MAN. This whole thing is a SHAGGY DOG STORY! I can't believe it. *snickers*

A year's pay, uh? You know, if fandom's right, that's a lot. Oh, now the cold comes in as a plot point! Of course. Aw, John doesn't want his people to get sick, like the CreepyPeople did. John punches Carson in the shoulder and tells him to buck up. John abysmally SUCKS at the 'tough, macho guys' approach. Carson looks like he's about to cry, and John raises his eyebrows and makes this terrified, desperate, wide-eyed 'oh, God, please don't cry!' face, and I DIE laughing. And then John sucks at the supportive approach, too, Carson actually starts crying because "[CreepyGuy] needs [him]!", and Joe manages to convey sympathetic, guilty, perplexed, thoughtful, annoyed as hell, worried and "oh, God, what the heck do I do with a crying guy?!? WHY ME?!?" in less than five seconds, and I die MORE. His FACES! He's so funny! Oh, I love him. <3 (Nooo, really?)

(And with this one, I think I've officially died more times than Daniel has. Go me!)

Oooh. Jumper + nighttime mainland = pretty OTP. And see, Rodney pilots really well when he's not, you know, thinking about the fact that he's doing it. Oh, Rodney, stop wondering if CreepyGuy's worried about you. We are! All the time! All seven billions of us fangirls! You are not unloved, darling.

A camp? With a fire? Like, "HEY, FIND US!"? John is not actually being this stupid, right? Ok. Whoa, Ronon, you just shot Shep! BAD PUPPY! Ah, but Rodney is upset about it... because now they'll have to carry Sheppard to the Jumper. HA! I hate when they make fun of our feelings in a way that's, you know, actually funny. Aw, John sprawls so prettily.

Oh, God. They've put John in the Wraith cage. John. In the Wraith cage. I'm sorry, is this episode supposed to be a light one? Is it? 'Cause, you know, it is NOT. Maaan. *shivers* Poor John. Cut the crap indeed, CreepyGuy. John may be sitting all pretty-like, but don't underestimate him. God, CreepyGuy's such a creep. With the laugh, and... EW. But can you see the thousands of ways in which John's planning to kill him behind that half smile of his? Oh, sure, nobody gets hurt, nothing's wrong, nobody does stuff they don't want to. Sure. "Six wives." Ah, YEAH, John. *starts waving banners* I have the urge to save John from this creep, but...

"Just a warning, [CreepyGuy]. You get too close to me, it'll be the last thing you do." I don't think John's ever spoken so calmly and serenely before. And I don't think I've ever believed him more. This is him being truly scary. Brrr.

Inoculation? Oh, John is really disgusted by this guy. I'm with him.

47%! 1 hour! Yay for continuity! Ok, Rodney, stop being so excessively nice to the guy, it's painful. Hey, for the umpteenth time, HANDS OFF! Poor Elizabeth.

Oh, they're all so excited, I just want to HURL.

Yay! Go, John, kick his ass! Hey, he's strong. Mmh. Hooray, Carson is cool again! And so smugly pissed off. *g* And this serum stuff? Good plan! Go, boys. "Only thing that'll happen is you'll catch my cold. " Hehe! Yay, John!

Aaand, again with the hurling feeling... this time from sympathetic embarrassment. *cringes*

Aw, John's finally happy again. "I'm a nice guy." Yeah, he is, but not to CreepyGuys who brainwash his people and have their way with them. Sorry! (NOT.)

Team Shep is back in action! Whoo! You know, it's a bit of a pity the Ex-CreepyPeople don't want to do very bad things to CreepyGuy. Oh, God, John's face as Ronon describes what he threatened to do to CreepyGuy ~~for messing with his girlfriend Teyla~~ if he said a word about Lantis! He's all like, "Mh, yes, excuse the violent imagery, but I so wish I could have pulled that off..." Hehehe! Aw, that smile between Ronon and Teyla? Oh, yeah. Cool hot warrior babies, folks!

HAHAHA! John's totally making fun of them. Bastard. *snickers madly* (And Rodney is grinning like a loon at this, too. Heeeee.) Then John pats Rodney's shoulder and...

"Hey, buddy, I’d better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout." *leaves, with more shoulder patting*

...

. . .

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!? Did he... Did Shep just USE VERY UNSUBTLE LAME CODE FOR "I'LL BE WAITING IN YOUR ROOM FOR SEX" WITH RODNEY IN AN ACTUAL EPISODE?!?

*hyperventilates*

*rewinds*

... SOUNDS LIKE HE DID OMG.

*rewinds several more times*

OMG HE TOTALLY DID. CAN I DIE HAPPY OF SHOCK NOW?

*realizes there's a bit of the episode left and lets it play*

"Rodney!" Cue disbelieving stares, a cool Elizabeth/Carson tag team, and Teyla wondering how hard to hit Rodney with her sticks the next time she sees him.

Ahhh. *stops hyperventilating* I'm so sorry, the shock of what seemed like inexplicable (?) canon slash made me even more retarded than usual. I hadn't realized that, of course, all that's happened is just that Rodney drank a love potion and then spent a considerable amount of time in close proximity with Sheppard, so he could have him gladly do anything that Rodney wished, in... Rodney's... quart-

*FZZZT*

*whirrrr...click* Hello! You have reached The Green Sheep's brain. Unfortunately, we are unable to form coherent sentences, use monosyllabic words or even dribble at you in any meaningful way at this time, due to the excessive proximity of Atlantis canon to manifestly slashy CRACK!fic we have just been exposed to. Please try again later. Thank you, and have a good day! *beeep*

Extra Stargate babbling from last week!

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:08:48 GMT

For reasons that are obvious to anyone who's seen episode 10x03 of SG-1. If you haven't, run! This is Spoiler Town!

And really, any episode can open with guys whispering "Get up, sunshine!" into Daniel's ears to wake him up. I'd rather it was Jack, but it's fun nonetheless. Plus, Daniel asleep at the breakfast table is always a thing of unspeakable cuteness. As are Vala's pigtails. What's this talk about landing, though? Since when do our ships land? Oh, wait, Daniel's saying he's tried to get here so many times and OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! Are they? Are they? YES! They are! They're on freaking Atlantis, baby! CROSSOVER, YAY! *squees the house down*

Aw, I'm so happy for Daniel. Even if he is not, not quite. Cue the Lantis theme! Oh, yeah.

What the heck, DAVID AND JOE ARE IN THIS! It's a big-ass crossover thingy! Fear my caps lock of JOY! Daniel and Rodney are sitting next to each other at the briefing on Atlantis, and I hear the sound of thousands of screencaps being snapped as Pegasus B goes through a sudden huge revival. (Maybe. But man, PegB is such good stuff.) Oh, the helpful credits tell me Walter and Zlinky are in the ep, too, and I'm just one shiny happy ball of squee by now.

Aw, no, Rodney, Vala's not mocking you. Everyone loves you, really. Even when they're threatening to shoot you if you don't shut up, like Shep is doing now to make nice with Sam. It's all about... levels of communications. Yeah, it is. *pats Rodney*

"Don't shoot me, you know I can't help myself." HA! Aren't they just cute, with the grievous bodily harm talk? (Shut up and leave me with my delusions that this is more of an injoke and/or Shep putting up too many masks around Earth folks than him simply being written like a jerk on SG-1. Lalalala can't hear you!)

Oh, man, the smile on Daniel's face when Rodney just. Won't. SHUT UP? Could light up the city better than a ZPM! So huge! I'm not sure why he's enjoying this so much (Pegasus B! Pegasus B!), but it's awesome. Also, HAHAHA! Vala let it slip that Sam already wanted Rodney on the job, and now Sam's pissy, Shep's kinda... sad? And Rodney is smug, but mostly so pleasantly surprised that you just want to hug him. Well, I do.

"You can keep him." Yeah, right, Shep. Hey, is he flirting with Vala? Uh?

Time for the flyboy meeting! In which Cam is complimentary about Atlantis, and Shep says they just painted. Yeah, he just can't be straight for more than three minutes in a row. *shakes head* Also, Cam is learning that shooting Rodney is a good way to shut him up, and John's telling him that Rodney is deathly allergic to citrus, so he always keeps with him... OH GOD! IS HE PULLING OUT THE EPI PEN OF LOVE that any self-respecting fic can't go without? IS HE?

... a lemon?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! The damn bastards know and they're messing with us, but heck, it's funny! So damn funny. *wipes tear from her eye* Oh, man. This is too good. 'Cause, you know, it means Shep goes around with a lemon in his pocket all the freaking time. (I'm assuming, just because I want to, that he didn't know they'd borrow Rodney before going into the meeting and is not lying about this whole thing just for show.) And that's just ten kinds of funny. Think about it! He falls on his face (as he so often does), he gets lemonade on his shirt. The alien princess feels him up (as they often do), and he has to explain it's not a weird kind of deodorant. A Wraith rips open his jacket in a very dramatic moment, and something bumpy and bright yellow falls out! (That might actually save his bacon one day. Who knows.) So much potential.

"We're actually... we're quite close." EEEP. Oh, don't we know that, Rodney. Don't we know. (*does a little CANON!LOVE dance*) (I've been mainlining Scrubs. Is it showing?)

Wow, Atlantis is so pretty. (Vala's pretty, too! Elizabeth's hair is pretty, and Daniel is pretty, and the ocean is pretty... shall I go on?) And we get a lot of canon about her and her people in this, but I'm leaving that for last, 'kay?

raven_lore made me notice that Vala tries to lift a... thing from Zlinky, and he has to run after her, to which I say WHEEEEEEE! Cute! So Daniel has to push and pull her around. I don't think she really wants to complain.

Oh my God, Rodney's telling Sam about Grace Under Pressure, and she's so weirded out! *pause* "Was I naked?" "... Partially." HAHAHA! Fantastic. Also, Rodney says 'calculations' like he means 'breasts', but I still love him. He's a feminist's nightmare, so harmless and cute. *shakes him*

Oooh, the black hole! Cam's right, it's totally cool.

Hi, Cam's ass! Bye, Gate!

Rodney's going for a sandwich, and asking if anyone wants anything, and... everyone's looking at him strange? Why? Oh, right, the SGC is only sort of, but totally not quite, the friendly, informal (read: totally chaotic and anarchic and childish) workplace that Atlantis is. *sigh* Rodney has become sort of sociable, but for Lantean standards, and he's just destined not to fit in with these people. (Who cares, though, we just want to keep him on Atlantis, and he's fine there.) Plus, Cam doesn't seem to like him much. I guess Sam and Daniel have maxed out his genius quotient and he can't take any more.

Oooh, shiny! Look at the galaxy spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinning... Vala is just awesome. And, WOAH, did that just work? They even got addresses! Too easy? Daniel looks mightily unconvinced.

Hehehehehe. Rodney's bitching 'cause they didn't let him get crumbs in the Odyssey corridor. AWESOME.

Teal'c! He's on the phone, and he's bitchy 'cause his girlfriend Cam kept him waiting. Thus, Cam is wondering if T's doing the deep, sexy voice in front of everyone just to mess with him, but it's actually all due to the time dilation of the black hole. Maybe.

McKay answers all the questions directed to everyone. I'd find this annoying, but that would be the height of hypocrisy. Erm. Also, he's totally not allowed to say Sam is sexy, because Cam is in full Older Brother mode, and is giving him this death glare of DEATH, and I just can't stop giggling, 'cause Cam is still Teal'c's girlfriend, after all.

Hi, Rodney's ass! Still heart-shaped, I see.

Whoa, the Gate spits fire! Mexican nuclear weapons, dude.

You know, I have this weird feeling that someone is going to write Cam/Rodney. What's that about?

Daniel is still staring at the holoAncient. What, Daniel? Share! You're making Vala sleepy.

*tilts head* Is Sam actually a bit taller than Rodney? I find that so cute. So, Rodney's having his daily freakout, and Shep's knowledge of his team and his amateur psychology (or IS IT? It's as fun as speculating that Jack has a degree in Literature) show their uncanny efficiency again as Cam hints that Sheppard told him stories about how great Rodney is, except mostly under the threat of impending death, and so then Cam pulls out the LEMON OF DOOM, and Rodney makes this fantastic face, like, "I can't believe you did that! But you wouldn't. Would you?" And then he runs off to do his thing. Hehehe. That lemon is going to be in icons, is all I'm saying.

Ah, yes, grandmothers always give good advice, especially about thermonuclear reactions.

Oh, Merlin! I totally wouldn't have recognized him.

Uh, no, she wasn't. The first to set foot on Atlantis in Rising was Sumner. Unless you're counting the Elizabeth from Before I Sleep, but that's just a headache waiting to hit.

Did Vala just call Daniel 'darling'? God, I love her.

Oooooh! She's not a hologram! How did I not get this? Oh, wait, that's right, I never get these things. (I just go 'oooh, pretty!' all through the episodes, for the most part.)

Rodney = coolness. Yay! He's got his snark going, oh yes. And... I totally knew he was going to check out her ass. *hangs head*

"Radek"! And "Elizabeth"! Pleeeeeeeeeeease have babies! *draws hearts around them* What, more Wraith? Just how many hive ships are in this galaxy? Wasn't it like, sixty or so? Oh, it doesn't matter, it's way less important than Radek and Liz making BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABIES! Plus, you just have to play the phone game with Earth and Teal'c to warn the Odyssey, right? Yeah, exactly. Hi, Walter!

Heeeeeeeee! With Daniel and Vala talking to the ceiling, Elizabeth has this moment which I hope will be a theme for all future crossovers, in which she wonders if the guys on the other side haven't maybe totally snapped when the guys on this side weren't looking. Uh, wait, that's Morgan le Fey? That's kind of cool! While Elizabeth is still thinking Daniel has gone with the crazies, she can still follow up on his really neat idea to have Chuck check out if the hologram thingy is really turned on, and guess what? Daniel's still not crazy. (Not too much.) Oh, it's so cool that she's talking to them, though. Like, what if one day your microwave oven looked you straight in the eye and told you it wanted to have a chat? So cool.

Awww, Rodney is always careful around his nuclear blasts. Good boy. *pets him* Hey, what's this talk of flying blind and ORI COMING? This is not of the good! Look, Rodney's worried for Teal'c now. Not. Of. The. Good.

Aw, look at Liz. It's sweet that she's so awed by the possibility of talking to an actual Ancient. And a decent one, too! They're so hard to come by. And while she's all, 'oooooooooohhhhhh', Daniel's all, 'ok, this is so last week, can we get some help or what?', and it's great. *g* "Lanteans"! I love that word. Vala is very cool. And Liz can't believe this is happening and looks like a little girl and is so cute!

Oh, extending the cloaking field is always cool. But let Rodney talk, guys! That's no way to treat guests. Didn't Cam's granny have something to say about that? Oh, well, we can forgive Cam here, because he's so worried about his boyfriend.

Oh, Vala just keeps being so. Cool! Aw, Daniel. OH, Daniel. Rock on with the big speech, guy. You're fantastic. "But then again, I won't be alive to see it." Oooh. This is so Daniel. *fangirls*

Man, the Ori ship looks cool, but most of all, it's big. Teal'c's got voicemail!

Relax? Rodney, like, doesn't' relax. Ever!

Oh, she remembers him when he was ascended. Neat.

"Oh, Wraith. That's not good." Rodney's getting kind of blasé about hive ships dropping in on him, isn't he? And, I mean, it's totally understandable. They've averaged about, what, one per week lately? Two?

How do you think he knows, Cam? He's Teal'c! He's cool.

Nonononononono don't hit the ship! We broke enough of them lately! And Rodney's all scared! But Cam is grabbing him to hold him up. Aw, see, the Wraith can make everyone bond! Ain't that sweet. They even speak in unison now!

Hey, good thinking, Sam. And Cam! He knows about the slingshot (HEHEHEHEHE I just got this possible injoke NOW! God, I'm so retarded), and this makes me picture him reading about the space missions as a kid, and it's the cutest thing ever.

Aw, I kinda feel for Morgan here. "Merlin's weapon is not-" HEY! Oh, you just had to cut her off right there, didn't you? *shakes fist at the dumb ascended beings* Darn. Bad company indeed, yes, Vala. *pets Daniel*

Come on, T, get yourself out of there before your girlfriend freaks out!

Oooh, this shot of the Odyssey surfing the accretion disc is amazing. Aaand here we go... oh, wow, WOW! They got the Wraith, the gate jump, and the Ori ship! THIS IS SO AMAZINGLY COOL!!! You rock, guys! Look how happy Sam and Rodney are! Teal'c has a bazillion good news for his worried girlfriend, and a smile as big as a house! GO, TEAL'C! He was brilliant. You know, I can just see the conversation that's going to take place when they get out of the black hole:

ATLANTIS: "Oh, hey, there you are, we were so worried! You did good to get out of there alive, folks. Hey, what about the hive ship?"
ODISSEY: "We blew it up!"
ATLANTIS: "You did great, then! Good job. I don't suppose that your original mission objective..."
ODYSSEY: "Oh, sure, we got that done, too, the supergate has now a permanent busy signal."
ATLANTIS: "Wow. Amazing job, folks, just amazing."
ODYSSEY: "And, oh, by the way, did we mention we also blew up a giant Ori ship in the Milky Way as an added bonus?"
ATLANTIS: "... Oh, just... go to hell."

Back on the balcony. Aw, sweet Danny. (HOT Danny.) Do smile as Vala says. Come on, it's not like you tiny humans are fighting against the big, bad Ori with no help whatsoever from anyone else who could possibly be useful! Oh, wait. *sigh*

Aw, Lantis is cool. Bye, Lantis! See you in five minutes.

You know, I find it very interesting how much canon information about Atlantis we got in an episode that wasn't actually an episode of Atlantis at all. Like how they've explored about half of the city (get those fics with the weird rooms and stuff going, folks, you only have another two of three years before there's nothing left to discover!), or the fact that the planet Atlantis is on has at least one moon! You can see it at the very beginning of the episode, in the shot with the Odyssey coming out of hyperspace. For those of you who care, it looks considerably smaller than Earth's Moon, but closer to its planet. (Of course, you can't really tell from just one image, but that's the impression.) But the most important bit of canon is, at least to me, Elizabeth's sort of off-hand declaration that she hopes to spend the rest of her life on Atlantis. It's something that has been said in many stories and meta discussions, especially of people like John, but it had never been mentioned on screen, and I just find it... you know. Yeah. I love it. I just love it deeply.

More babbling, or how I learned to stop sleeping and love Semagic.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 10:53:46 GMT

So, as we were saying, new Lantis and...

Previously... Oh, just see next post down.

Aw, Elizabeth is still sad. So Teyla is keeping a Gate connection to Earth, the cloak, and the chair on all at once just so she can be with them (albeit just via phone) in their nth hour of desperation. Carson does look like he needs it, poor thing. He hates that chair. And, hee, he's right! Of the three people who've fired glowy squids from a chair, he is the one that was about to kill the other two while doing so. *squishes Carson*

But, no worries! The hive ship is hurrying so much to get to Atlantis just because they're coming home! Teyla doesn't know yet, so she's all set to give Carson the order to blow stuff up. Which means that Sheppard's team is the actual chain of command on Atlantis, which is... scary as hell, if you think Ronon's included! I hope Zlinky and Lorne come before him, or something. He's by no means stupid, but, you know, he's still an overgrown sulky teenage hero with a chip on his shoulder the size of, say, the known universe.

Not that Sheppard isn't an overgrown teenage hero, but still.

Whooo-hooo! Shep & CO have phoned home that they're alive and there, and the girls are so happy! And yes, I'm including Carson in this description.

Shep is also very happy, 'cause he has a shiny new toy to play with. Such a kid. So cute. And, well, who can blame him? Our ships are really pretty.

Yeah, Carson, you almost obliterated him via squid... again. Don't think about it. Think about the next time! Shep's psychology shouldn't really work, but it does. How's that? Although if he's calling those 'a few', there are other things of his that really aren't working properly. Two hundred! Poor Carson.

Oh, look! There's actual, hot coffee in that mug! Cool. And while they're talking about Michael, how cool is it that the Wraith still refuse to tell us if they have names? I guess, though, that Marylin Manson will always remain "This Sulum" to me.

Mh, so basically the IOA's pissed just because it's their asses on the line now. Nice.

Why did they give Mike gray hair? He looks old, and then he turns around and he totally doesn't. White hair is, at least, anime-approved. Poor Mike. He's all alone and nobody wants him. And they even took away his Internet connections, so he can't post poetry about how much his life sucks. Er, no pun intended.

Oooh. Do you think he stopped before saying 'human' because he genuinely didn't want to offend Teyla, or did he just not want to have her (more) pissed off at him? Mmh, Connor is really good at the 'moving like a Wraith' thing. I almost can't believe it's Trip. It's cool that Teyla really doesn't like him. She's a wise one. But, poor Mike. WITH HIS METAPHOR FOR THE GAY OMG! What he is is not a sickness! And more interesting moral debates on consciousness, memory and identity! Wow! Although, if they're saying "gay = lifesucking killer alien", that's not good at all. Nu-uh. But Mike is still a totally awesome character and I love him.

Yes! Liz can go back home! Not that we really thought they'd take her away. No, Liz, you're not still in charge because they hate the military more than they hate you. The truth is, the rumours have spread, and now they can't find absolutely no one who will accept to be John Sheppard's commanding officer! I mean, that gives you what, a 30-hour lifespan? I can see it, all those pluridecorated Colonels cowering in their seats in the SGC briefing room, and then running for their lives screaming like little girls as soon as Landry tries to offer them the post. They're funny.

Hey, the Doctor on Atlantis! Craa-azy. And well, sure, the mighty powerful overworked Asgards have to give her a ship, because she has to get back to her boyfriends ASAP. Clearly. So that she may use them to make fun of Woolsey! Heee.

Aw, yes, you do have confidence in Rodney, Shep. Oodles of the stuff. Don't say it like it's a joke, you know he's sensitive. HAHA! But you also think like a comic book character. "Hey, Teyla's got this type of superpower, so she can obviously work this kind of stuff! Right?" *shakes head* The thing is, he's also very much right. That should worry me. But it doesn't. It's Shep! *handwave of love*

I say Ronon is enjoying shooting Mikey a tiny bit too much. What do you think? But mostly, what do you think about the utter IDIOCY of these people? "Oh, it worked so well the first time, why don't we give this another try? It'll be fun!" No, seriously, I get that they had not many options, but at the very least they should have done something different with Michael.

The only upside of this plan is that the humanified Wraith are mostly quite hot. Not the quarterbacks, though. Which is as I thought. But Carson already lurves them all with his big, big doctory heart, or rather, he's having thoughts about them being, you know, people, and he's being very sweet, but also very insane, since he wants to stay behind on the planet with the ex-Wraith while Shep and Ronon go back home. Shep thinks this is a very bad idea indeed, and has moderate to mad amounts of slashiness with Carson in an attempt to convince him to leave with them and be safe. Meanwhile, Ronon is nearing a beatific state at the thought of the Wraith all feeding on each other and stuff. Whatever floats your boat, darling. Kind of. Shep doesn't win the argument, even at his loveliest, but Carson assures him he'll be safe. WELL! You just might have been, but we'll never know now that you've jinxed it, will we, Carson?

Hi, Trip! You're back! And stuck in something like those creepy, creepy novels and tv shows who made people paranoid to the point of CRAZY and for their trouble, since karma is a bitch, got turned into reality shows who make people annoyed to the point of STUPID. I can totally see why they'd be uncomfortable and want to know more. Poor Trip. You're so amazingly sweet.

Woolsey's in a Lantis uniform, and... eating an orange? Does Rodney allow those in the Pegasus Galaxy? Hee. Stephen is cool. He's not biting, even into the Shep card. Yay for Uncle Skinner.

Oooh, Shep and Mike! I want Shep/Mike! They're so sweet and hot and totally fucked up!

Yeah, I scare myself sometimes, but who didn't think about that? Come on, show of hands!

Ronon has gone into Mountie mode.

Mikey has gone into... not so sweet mode. Hell. That's kind of upsetting. But utterly cool. They are what they are, I guess.

Oh, baby-faced ex-Wraith, you might not want to see that. Go off, and take your scary crush on Carson away, please. I know he's sweet and all that, but, maybe you like salty better? I don't know, just... I get nervous when potentially dangerous people are around Carson! I can't help it! He's the guy who cried over his Mum's petunias, or something close! Caaaaarson! *hugs him*

AWWW! Here comes one of my favourite scenes ever. Elizabeth is just so... so... she can't even say it! See my icon? She loves them, and they love her, so John tries to downplay it and Rodney MAKES HER SMILE AND THEN SMILES AT HER HIMSELF OMG. I couldn't possibly love him more. That was just lovely. OT3, folks! It will never die.

And of course Teyla and Liz are girlfriends, too, but that's another story. Not as huge as the one where John and Rodney are boyfriends, of course. "Does standing still count as a maneuver?" "No!" Ha! <3! Asscones for everyone!

Heh. Woolsey's here, and after Elizabeth explains, Ronon just keeps staring at her dumbly like, "ok, but when do you say that it's a joke?"

Oh, Shep, you're a bit of a bastard with your boyfriend, but oh, smile again, please.

Ok, Carson, why are you out in the forest alone? Oh, so you think the pretty Wraith was killed, ans so WENT OUT THERE ALL ALONE TO INVESTIGATE? Oh, God. Did you take your survival skills class from Sheppard and fail? Oh, my. And, oops! They're totally onto you.

Shep's interview. Which he really, really isn't enjoying. Must have been one of those kids who just can't stand to be scolded, 'cause he still is. I feel a lot of sympathy for him. Heh, look at how he's trying to peer at the notes! So cute! Aw, yes, you 'supported Elizabeth's decisions', yes. We know. This time. This Wraith/people stuff, though. Mh.

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaarson! Where are you going? Don't follow him? Haven't you, like, ever seen a movie?

Oh, look, gay extras! (The goggles have fused with my eyes. It's not my fault!)

And a very pissed Shep! Whoa. But he's so camp and cute when he's angry like this! Aw, he probably wants to be serious, but can't. (That takes much worse stuff.)

"Why, John Sheppard, are you defending my honor?" Hehehehehehehehe! Nooooooooooooo, he's not! He's not straight, really! He was pissed off on his own behalf, too! GIRL COOTIES! This is too good. To make up for the terrified backing off, he lounges on a chair to lift her spirits. Yeah, it's the thought that counts, but the kinda sexy lounging is what makes a difference.

Uh, what's with the semi-religious looking chanting? Ooops! Hi, Wraith!Mikey. Crap. Aw, yes, I know you were hurt and betrayed! Because you're Sweet Emo Wraith Boy! I'm almost rooting for you. Unless you take Carson hostage! That's a bad, bad Wraithy! Put him down!

Another hive ship? Noes! Will they ever stop coming? It's worse than clowns! Uh, so the planet's in Atlantis's solar system? Just how many freaking habitable planets does it have? Are we suddenly in Firefly? What?!?

Uh, Woolsey-guy, don't even think about badmouthing the Athosians, or Teyla will kick your ass all the way back to Earth. Don't touch Teyla's people! (Heeee! I'm twelve, if you know what I mean.) No, of course you don't post your very important info on the city bulletin board. You post it on the next planet over, as tradition dictates.

"We should light a fire under his bony little-" HA! You're one to talk, John! The poor Asgard are really the only creatures in the 'verse you can afford to call on their skinny asses. I mean, at least you wear pants. (Is that good? I'm not sure.) And sit like a kid, which is certainly good. Keep that up, 'cause it's time for heroics, people. The music says so!

Eeeeeeeee, Carson! That's a really scary position you're in. And, Mike's trying to drown you in guilt, which, does he really need to? Carson is quite self-sufficient on that regard. Oh, man, look, he's so scared! Someone save him! Mike is smart. And very scary. But Carson stands his ground! Kinda! Aaand, we have slash, people! It's a bit like Connor got Carson mistaken for Malcolm Reed, I guess 'cause they have almost the same pretty eyes and a British accent (but they're so different!), and he's all in his face and it's terrifying and wrong, but also vaguely hot, you know? GEROFF, MIKEY! Oh, so you like open-minded, empathetic men. I would never have guessed that was your type, no, not at all. *snerk* Though Carson says he's not so empathetic now, which, wow, he may be petunia guy, but he rocks. Oooh, whoa, the Wraith mental whammy thingy! I thought only the girls could do it! Well, maybe the males can, but in a lesser capacity. Or maybe Mikey is just that girly.

Aw, Teyla. *pats her* John is quite frustrated, uh? Poor Rodney.

Aw, Uncle Stephen is going to save Shep's ass even if his ship's all broke and his Asgard's all cranky, because Liz wants her people back once again. Sweet.

Poor Teyla. Good thing that Ronon is being a sweetie-pie and checking on her, too. "You're a genius, Rodney", all dreamy-eyed, and yeah, more points for our camp. Although the hive was just reacting to the Wraiths on the planet, and not to Rodney's smarts, so noes! Trouble! Again! But yay, they brought a Jumper! But, oh, that's a pretty heavy decision. And Rodney's sweet. Yeah, maybe you could not incinerate them, but... heavy stuff, Rodney. You know. *pets him*

SHEP! Didn't' you ever play Doom? You don't hide behind the drums! One well-placed shot, and you go boom! *facepalm plus headshake* What do I have to do with this boy? What?

Wow, Teyla just broke a Wraith's neck. Good thing she's supposed to be exhausted. o_O

Aw, Carson and Teyla are always kind of love.

Aw again, 'cause Ronon brought back the redshirts' tags. All of them. Uh, I don't think that's quite how you're supposed to do it, but that was nice of you, big guy. *pats*

Shall we move past this other tiniest bit of John/Carson? All this boyfriend sharing is starting to confuse me. It's a very happy confusion, but still.

Anyway, Shep has gotten very serious, which means that Bad Shit is possibly about to go down. And it would, except that Mikey is very resourceful, and also so cutely betrayed by everyone, and I'd pet him if he wouldn't try to eat me, but he would, so tough.

They couldn't hit 'the side of a giant, flying barn'. Aw, Rodney. So they'll try to blast the heck out of the camp, 'cause they can't beat Michael on even ground (!), and the human Wraiths? Casualties of war. Man, this is gloomy.

NO! Bad hive ship, bad! Stop shooting at the pretty people! Go 'way! Ahh, but luckily, the Daedalus is here, with Uncle Skinner giving a totally pointless order about dropping them out of hyperspace (I mean, you just do that when you get where you're going, right?) just to sound cool. But, oh, noes! There's just debris here, and not a lifesign to be seen. At this point, I think Uncle Skinner is just really cranky 'cause he's tired of having to compose his mournful apology to Elizabeth in his head every two hours only to have to scrub it five seconds after he's done.

Good thing Shep's calling in so fast this time, then, right? Except... "Sheppard, where the hell are you?" Meaningful look from Teyla. Pause as whatever's under The Hair kicks into gear. "Oh! Right. Sorry." And the Jumper decloaks. HEEEEEEEEE! My dorky dork! Love! <3 And yet more pretty spaceship shots. Man, they're totally out of budget for special effects at episode 2 already, uh? Aw, the long ride home. They're so cute. AWWW!

The masks on Elizabeth's walls are freaking me out. Damn right they were thinking about their survival! They ARE important, dammit. They're way too adorable to die.

This conversation is not making much... ooooh, I get it. Woolsey's cool side is coming out of hiding! "Inconvenient facts"! Aw, he's kinda sweet. Yay, Richard! Hey, 'for the moment', the hell. If you take her away, her boyfriends will be really pissed... but it's the girlfriend you have to be really worried about.

Pretty Stargate! Pretty shot! All is Pretty! Wheee!

Next: do we get the leather uniform jackets? Do we? Dowedowedowe? Pwetty pwease? I have no freaking idea, people! Yay for non-spoiledness!

Ah, before I forget, a very important question to you all: which episodes do the Rush Hour specials have even the slightest spoilers for? I can't watch them if I don't know, and they sound so great!

Last but not least, this is what happens if you type "atlantis" into Google Italy.

I kid you not. I almost wish it was a manip. The crazeh gets to be a bit much every now and then, you know? *sniffles dramatically*

New season of Lantis! Now with 100% more insane blabbing!

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 06:25:41 GMT

But that's just because I'm doing two episode posts at once. Yay! Can you tell I'm excited about this? I knew you could.

Previously: Shep christened yet another Wraith with the next name off his blacklist of ex-boyfriends who pissed him off. (I think a Steve may have stolen his Johnny Cash collection, or something.) Welcome Mike to the show, people! Then, lots of bad shit happened, including a truly unnerving visit from Elizabeth's Wraith alter ego (no, seriously, that had to be intentional, that they looked and acted so much alike, right?) and our heroes getting thoroughly suckered by the bad guys.

Also, Shep went out to reenact the X-Wing part of A New Hope, which we see in a weird mixture of previouslies and new scenes. The first round doesn't do the trick, because of course that's how it went in the movie, and Shep sends his female Wedge back to the Daedalus to put the kettle on while he Uses the ~~Force~~ Hair and tries to blow up one of the hyperdrives on the hives before they totally kick the Daedalus's ass. Of course, since Shep must be presumed dead at least 7.4 times a season, and he's decided to get a head start this year, the hives hightail it out of there and poor Colonel Stephen "Uncle Skinner" Caldwell is left with no sign at all that Shep's alive. Oh, noes, what's he going to tell Elizabeth now? He doesn't know that Shep, remembering that Luke was so much lamer than Han (but still my favourite, 'cause I'm way lame, too), is trying out another role model and has perched his tiny, tiny F-302 on the side of one huge, huge hive ship. So huge! I remember that they took the first one they saw for a hill, but still, wow, huge. Anyway, Shep's in the hyperspace rainbowy tunnel with them, so he can go save his boyfriend and their puppy. Yay!

Yay for credits, too, though they haven't changed them, and so while everyone else looks heroic, Paul and David still just look slightly constipated and oh so prettily desperate, respectively. Oh, well.

Lantis! So pretty. And she comes with sad "Oh Noes, They're DEAD!" music, sad Elizabeth, sad Teyla, and sad Zlinky! I love Zlinky. Now, specifically for the way he's following everyone around. "Radek"! Love for Liz calling him Radek. I want them to go on awkward dates and have a million hypersmart babies. Oh, that's right, they have the Orion lying about somewhere. And absolutely no other freaking ships to defend Earth, BECAUSE CAM AND DANNY & CO BROKE THEM ALL ON THE OTHER SHOW! I mean, with all the crap they end up accidentally throwing at each other, maybe the SGC and Lantis teams secretly want to strangle each other. A lot. Ok, so Elizabeth also called Skinner "Stephen", which threw me a lot, because it was very meaningful, I guess, but I don't want them to have babies! Erm. Oh, well, I don't think there's anyone there that's not sleeping with everyone else at this point, so whatever. Teyla has to stop sighing, because she's making me want to do sad faces along with her. Sigh.

In the meanwhile, Rodney and Ronon are doing a reenactment of their own, but they've chosen the Andromeda Season One Finale to Season Two Premiere plot. HA! In the middle of his doomy babbling, Rodney just admitted he got spyware when he downloaded porn. And then covered with 'music', but dude, like Ronon's going to care. Aw, Rodney called Ronon 'Big Guy'. That's kind of sweet.

Shep has a plan, AND HE ALSO HAS RODNEY IN HIS HEAD! Ha, no, seriously, it's an absolutely hilarious flashback in which John has lunch with Rodney and Zlinky (!) but doesn't hear a word they say about ships going in and out of hyperspace because he's busy making eyes at a girl scientist two tables over, for which Rodney gets (jealous and) all pissy at him. Fantastic! So now Shep doesn't know if he can fly around the hive ships to blast (parts of) them to bits and has to sit on his ass (Is it there? Isn't it? Tune in next week and hope we find out when they take all his clothes off! You can sit right next to me, if you don't mind the spazzing.) and wait, while telling himself he should pay more attention to his ~~boyfriend~~ geeks. Damn right you should, Shep.

Mikey! Whom the queen calls 'Michael' like it's an insult, which is very cool. Oooh, he didn't know they planned to screw the Lanteans over! I'm starting to really like him. They must have done something wrong with their voice thingy on the queen here, though, 'cause she sounds more like an Asgard than a Wraith.

Hey, it's Landry and Walter! Uh? No, you can't take Liz away from the city! It's so empty already! And they're in the middle of a crisis, you can't take away their (admittedly slightly sucky) leader, it's crazy! Look how desperate Teyla is. Man, that was a cold smile she gave him. Oh, Elizabeth, of course Teyla knows what to do, don't worry. My girls are love. Oh, that's an SG-1 music theme as she steps through to Earth! So cool. Aw, Liz, don't go! Look how pissed off she is on the other side. I totally would have shut the Gate in their faces, but I guess that wouldn't have solved much. But Landry is nice, and he's right. Kick the IOA's asses!

Mike is so kind of cute. And tiny, for a Wraith! I bet he was always a bit of a black sheep, you know, even before he got turned into a human, and all the other bigger Wraiths were always picking on him, and he wrote angsty poems on his blog and wore a lot of emo black, but no one noticed because the Wraith males all dress in black anyway, and that just frustrated him even more. Erm.

Rodney has transitioned from frantic doomy babbling to resigned doomy babbling. Ronon has transitioned from being really annoyed by this to being really, really annoyed by this. But they're still cute when they fight.

Oooh, Shep is calling for them, even if it's a HORRIBLE idea, because he doesn't want to blast them along with the ship in the very remote case that they're still alive. Awww. Love! Good thing the only Wraith around the radios is Michael. But when he answers, Shep still tells him he got the wrong number. Heee! Oh, and when told Rodney and Ronon are alive, he gave this big sigh of relief, but then his voice went all worried as he asked what Mike was going to do with them, and can I just melt now? Thanks. The protective love just... does things to me. 'Specially if it's Shep. Ehhh.

"Aren't you 'them'?" And all that stuff about being deceived. Oh, I love Shep's dialog. Also, Mike looks kinda scared that the other Wraith will kill him soon, poor thing. But beside making him cuter, this also helps Shep, so that's all right.

Hey, the Doctor! (I caught an episode of Voyager the other day, and while I was a bit confused because it was the one in Season 7 when they revisit their whole timeline and I've only really seen up to a bit of Season 2, I was way more confused when I remembered that, if I heard correctly, Chakotay and Janeway never end up together. 'Cause, I mean, I thought they'd left that off way back when I heard that, but the other day there was flirting and love and confidences and she was making them get drunk in her quarters! I swear! Trek is so odd about ships. No, wait, I remembered something else... it's 'cause she's with Seven, right? That makes sense, then. Never mind.

Yeah, that had nothing to do whatsoever with Lantis. That's why it's in parentheses! No, seriously, sorry. Back to our scheduled programming.) Wait, they distributed the file? Are they actually total morons? This is... this is even beyond Windows jokes. Gah. Oh, Liz is being cool. And all the IOA is saying could be condensed into "Yeah, Cam and SG-1 went off and broke all our ships. That sucks. So we want your shiny battery pack for our glowy shit. But only maybe. We'll let you know, but what we can tell you now is that you totally fucked things up, omg!" And she did, but we love her, so back off, 'kay? Plus, unless you give us Jack to fire the drones, you are never, ever getting Rodney's baby. NE-VER.

(About Rodney's babies, did you know that in Eureka, John and Rodney's son lives in a tiny fanon Atlantis? No, really! raven_lore speaks the truth, dudes. More on that in another post, maybe.)

"You'll have to fire me first." GO, LIZ! You kind of suck at your job, but we're all rooting for you.

Oh, Rodney is at the "how will we die" stage. And to make him shut up, Ronon breaks free! Rodney's superpower of Extreme Relentless Annoyance strikes again! YAY! Hahaha, what do you mean, where did he keep that knife? I guess Shep didn't tell him that Ronon has knives in his underpants because he still felt a bit inferior about that. (Does Ronon wear underwear? Now, that's food for thought.) Eesh, the cocoon is kinda gross. "You'll think of something." Aw. Yeah, Ronon and Rodney work strangely wonderfully together as people.

Chuck's on the phone for Liz. Hi, Chuck! Oh, well, of course they won't take responsibility for anything. Blah. Liz is quite cool here. And very... curly-haired. "Godspeed." Aw.

Go, Uncle Stephen, do the hot walk! Wow, he really wants to throw everything at the Wraith, uh? Good man. Mh? AAAH! That's Lorne! And Zlinky! On the Orion! AAAHHH! PUT THE WEE CUTE PEOPLE BACK, THEY'RE IN AWFUL DANGER ON THAT OLD TUB! *frets*

Aw, Shep is really afraid to hurt his friends. "It'll be a walk in the park. Very scary park. Filled with monsters, who are trying to kill me." Hee. "Operation 'This Will Most Likely End Badly' is a go." HEEE! Shep is so quotable. And he does such cool flying. Go, Shep Skywalker Solo! Or actually, EEEEEEE! There are a gazillion of them, and he's all alone! Mike is pretty, but still quite useless. No, Shep! He got hurt! I heard him! He lost a wing and everything! Yeah, in other, less fangirly words, crap.

Yeah, Liz, sing it, sister! *waves pom-pons*

Hee. Rodney hiding behind Ronon was so funny and cute. And he wants to eat (yay, continuity!), and to Ronon's "I have a plan", he answers: "You? Really?" Oh, Rodney. So lovely in his Rodney-ess, and in preferring dying as a hero than as a meal. I LOVE RODNEY!

Aw, Shep! Widdle Sheppikins is all woozy, poor thing. But he still has to rescue his pals, or so he thinks. Hey, gun! Yeah, thats' useful, Mike. Good Mikey!

Go, Daedalus! Wow, that shot looks so cool. If I'm noticing special effects and space battle stuff, you know it's really good.

Hee! Mike was turning into Narrator Guy, and Shep had to shut him up. Meanwhile, Rodney is trying to find a number small enough to describe their chances of survival. Dude, you're both in the credits! You can even go into natural numbers, I'd say.

The Orion! With Lorne and Zlinky, cursing in Czech! (Zlinky, not Lorne, of course, though that would have been awesome.) THEY'RE SO TINY AND CUTE! And they're launching squids, yay! GO, SQUIDS! They even found an excellent choreographer, I see. No, wait, what's this about you not getting there in time to save Zlinky and Lorne, Hot Daedalus Guy? WHAT THE FRELL?

And now Shep and Mikey find the empty cocoons, but even as Mikey says he's sorry Shep does not for a moment believe that Rodney and Ronon have become Wraith chow, so he puts together his deep psychological analyses of his friends ("Rodney smart, Ronon smash!") to find out where they've gone. Aw.

Zlinky's voice is going all high in his panic. EEE! SAVE THEM! Yes, okay, beam them up, that's more than fine. But DO IT!

The panel's all icky! DOS! Hahahaha! Don't worry, Rodney, Ronon couldn't understand, but I did laugh. Ooooooh, Shep's there! Look at Rodney's face! Awww. And he called him 'Mikey'! And admitted he stole the move from Han! And Rodney loves him! Wheeeee! Oh, Mikey. Giving your gun to Ronon was... uh, totally useless in convincing him not to kill you, but a word from Shep will be more than enough. Good puppy, Ronon! But Rodney is still uncomfortable and wants to stay close to Shep, as opposed to the trigger happy folks. So Ronon has to go grabbing everyone to talk to Shep. Hey, how come he's nearly clean and Rodney's still full of cocoon gunk? No fair. Poor Rodney.

Yeah, Lorne, don't apologize. Your cuteness is enough to make Uncle Skinner feel better, especially since you brought Zlinky along. And he's about to feel even better, 'cause yay! Shep is calling, with cool codes to say it's really him and stuff! So they can beam them aboard, and now Shep and his boy harem are safe. Ok, not really. They have a really great plan to blow up the hive ship, though, but it's useless 'cause Uncle Skinner had to deploy all of his nukes before in order to achieve maximum space battle prettiness. So there's stuff going boom on the hive, but not nearly enough, and oh noes, the Daedalus lost her shields! SAVE HOT DAEDALUS GUY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! Yay, Shep's driving! And yeah, a draw is good, 'cause hey, you're not dead! Yet.

And in fact, they're dead in the water with no life support, and thus royally screwed. Nice! To make their last hours more pleasant, Rodney and Zlinky have adopted Hot Daedalus Guy and are taking him everywhere. Rodney is recruiting "everyone who took Shop" to help fix the ship, which is awesome, and then HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Rodney just diagonally suggested BUDDY BREATHING! I have no words for the total AWESOMENESS of this, except maybe for YAY (CANADIAN) SLASH LOVE OMG! And now, because I love you, I'll stick something under my caps lock key. Promise.

Rodney knows how to use Shep (erm), so he sent him out to take a look at the damage, and they take the opportunity to whisper sweetly to each other over the radio. Well, no, okay, only Shep does. But really. Phone sex. Anyway, with their usual luck (by which I mean they'll miraculously survive anything, but be thwarted in mysteriously plot-furthering ways over the smallest things), they lost all spacesuits, but they would have done squat anyway, so well. Meanwhile, Radek wants to send word home to his Elizabeth that he died a hero, but Rodney hates mushy stuff and says no, but in such a way that makes him realize they have one huge, hive ship-shaped pocket of breathable air right next door.

(Can we randomly break life support everywhere? It's making Shep pant. I approve.)

So, the hive is obviously inaccessible, unless! Mikey, ladies and gentlemen, has a plan. They all have a plan together! In which they use absolutely all they've got to make it! I love when they do that! They're so cool! *hugs Martin Gero*

So they've stuck homemade, not-shiny batteries on the chair in Antarctica. Mh. Doesn't sound so good, especially since they have, like, four glowy squids left. Unless they're the A-Team of glowy squids, they won't do much. "That went well!" Heh, Liz is marginally funny. Yeah, just say no, Liz. Aw, ok, you totally fucked up, but your boyfriends are not dead! Really! Don't be sad. Hee, Landry's cute. Yeah, Elizabeth, sleep. Good girl.

Oooh. Another pretty spaceship shot. Nice. Aw, look at all the people lying around. And Shep and Lorne sitting on the deck. Don't you just want to pet them? And look, pet Rodney, too, 'cause he's totally going down there with the rest of the team. Little toaster!

Oh, so they killed each other as they turned? Eeesh. Oh, poor Wraith guy. Are they all going to be hot? Will we actually see James Lafazanos without makeup? Is Shep actually thinking of flirting with the ex-Wraith queen? Who's NOT AN EX-WRAITH AT ALL OMG! Let go of cute little Lorne! Let go! Yay, guys, shoot her! She made me use caps lock again! She was evil! But yeah, Rodney, I thought we talked about telling people useful stuff. Oh, well.

"Out of the woods"? Nonononono! Shep, that's one step away from "What could possibly go wrong now"! Don't you ever learn?

And now, it's 8:30 am and still an episode to go! Will I ever sleep again? Who knows. Think I should put "LiveJournal is my Caffeine" on a T-shirt?

delurking in deference to extraordinary circumstances

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 06:15:00 GMT

Can I just say...

For my fantastic, humongous ~~gay~~ dorks, who won ~~at life~~ the World Cup in a giant, silly, jumping, dancing, crying, hugging, hair-styling, snogging, pantsless Italian-coloured manpile. With confetti! Feel the love.

Plus, new 'lantis in five days! More yay!

yawn

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 23:19:13 GMT

Am alive.

(*pokes fan_this back* And you... *tacklehugs*)

(*tacklehugs _medley_, too*)

(*tacklehugs whole flist. What the hell.*)

Am also at that stage of thin existential boredom that makes you bored even with the thought of doing fun stuff that should make you not-bored, e.g. fannishly LiveJournaling the day away.

(*shoots looming finals out of the sky*)

So.

Am alive.

Uh. Oh, and I've taken the time to become thoroughly addicted to Doctor Who (oh, the *LOVE*) and watch all of Queer As Folk UK. And Chicken Little, too, incidentally. But not to look at one single page of my textbooks for this semester. The flesh is so weak, and Russel T. Davies is my master now. (Well, kinda. I mostly find myself wanting to pat his cute teddy bear-y head a lot.) In other news, Fish Out Of Water is my hero. Unsurprising, this, since I totally agree with raven_lore's idea that he IS John Sheppard. (Runt would be a much gayer version of Rodney, but that's beyond the point.) Plus, anyone who is officially dubbed by the office water cooler wins at life.

What else? Oh, yes. This late, I'll probably be the last one to say these six words. But then again, I hope not.

Don't you think Bush looks tired?

Again, if you get it, pass it along. I think it's just too brilliant not to. *eg*

Fashionably late

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 01:59:44 GMT

Merry Christmas!

Or just wishes for a happy Winter, if you prefer.

Grace Under Pressure

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:59:11 GMT

Do you know how much I love that title? I loved it well before I knew anything else about the episode at all. Imagine how much I love it now. Yeah. That much.

So, we open on a cool shot of a Puddle Jumper, and I'm already excited, like, "Hi, pretty Jumper!" I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this, no matter what.

Uh, the... bothersome moustache guy is scaring me for some reason. I don't know. Is it the Daedalus uniform, which is ever so slightly unsettling? Is it the moustache itself? Is it that he's trying to drive Rodney crazy, and when Shep's not the one doing that, I don't know what could happen? Is it the tomato stuff? Is it that he thought Columbus was Spanish, which... uh? Oh! Now I know why he bugs me. He just doomed them by saying the equivalent of "what could possibly go wrong now?" Damn. I knew he was bad news. On a side note, I love that they're repairing Jumpers. Is this the one from Condemned?

There! I knew it!
Bothersome Moustache Guy: "Brace for impact!"
Rodney and I: "What?!?"

AAAAAAHHHHHH! They crash-landed into the sea! And now Rodney is alone with Bothersome Moustache Guy! This is BAD! With really cool special effects, though.

Zlinky! *squishes him* ... Sorry. Pavlovian response. I spend too much time around, well, you guys.

SAM! Amanda's in the credits! So this is the episode that spoiler pic I'd seen was from. I had kinda thought so. Uhm. Given the road the episode seems to be taking, and most of all its title... *sound of rusty cogs grinding* I'm guessing we won't actually get to see Sam on Atlantis for real this time, either, uh? Bummer.

Aw, Zlinky loves Rodney. He kept calling him over and over for an hour. Awww. *squishes him some more*

Oh, man. They're underwater. (Well, DUH, Sheep.) Damn.

Jumpers as submersibles? Yeah, I know, it was in a fanfic.

Oh, crap. Windshield cracking? So not good. Marginally good: Rodney always being a tiny step ahead of everyone else, because, well, it's good, plus, it's continuity!

No, wait... NO! Oh, God. ~~Bothersome Moustache Guy~~ Griffin! Oh, man. That was too sudden. Oh, no. Poor guy. Way to make me feel bad about being annoyed by a three-minute character, writers. And look at Rodney's face! He's all full of survivor guilt. For what is probably the 327th time just since this show started. Oh, Rodney. *hugs* Oh, right, he's a bit claustrophobic, too. And all alone, now. Poor Rodney.

Ok, Hewlett needs to stop doing those things with that voice right now. I can't take this. Oh, Rodney, don't cry! Meeeeep!

Yes, that's better, stay active. And keep amusing me by using your handheld as a light source, like I do with my cell phone. I need to be amused if you're going to be stuck down there, all angsty and in peril and stuff. (I also love that Rodney is wearing sneakers. It never stops being adorable.)

Oh, look at Shep. He just won't accept that they might be dead. A friend of mine jokes about him needing to go save people "If there is even just. One. Possibility!" (you have to imagine that said with ample excess of drama), but it's so true. Oh, Shep.

"I'll handle the rescue." Oh, Shep. If he thought it might work, he'd swim out to retrieve them on nothing but his surfboard.

Aw, Rodney has to fix himself, too. And prioritize. Man, this is a total 'pet the Rodney' episode, isn't it? And he's so good and efficient! The brave little toaster in full swing.

And he's venting at the Jumper! *loves* And... using XP for Ancient tech again. Rodney, don't you ever learn?

Oooh, so many scientists with so many cute accents.

Oh, now he's cold. My widdle hypochondriac, self-condescending Rodney. Who talks to himself, and shouts at the Jumper, and... calls it a lemon! I'm having flashbacks to lots of fics. All very good stuff, oddly. Meanwhile, Rodney is FREAKING OUT. Like, hysterical, crazy, hypoxic freaking out. Oh, God. David Hewlett is too good for us. By which I mean he's BAD for our HEALTH and he's making me freak out right along with Rodney and... I'll stop now.

Shep has set up the oddest workshop ever, because he's this good: he has a plan, because he knows his people and their stuff, and he can put things together and make them work, like (he says) chocolate and peanut butter. Aw. He's still a five-year-old at heart. Guess Elizabeth knows what to get him for Christmas now. He's so very smart for a five-year-old, though. His plan is pretty cool. (I will NOT get into the physics of that. I think it's all good concepts, except maybe for not taking into account the increasing pressure as the Jumper sinks lower, but I just don't want to see if the actual numbers are anywhere close to making the slightest sense. I suck at this, and I want to stay headache-free.) He'll have to get there pretty fast, though.

"You and Rodney have been bugging me for a chance to try the Jumper a a submersible..." We know, we know. Faaaaaaaaaaaaanfic. No, but really, those two are just big kids with cool toys.

It's just that one of the kids is now stuck in a sinking broken cool toy, and protesting that he should be the one rescuing people, not the other way around, and David Hewlett can have the bill of the future therapy sessions I'll need if he keeps this up. Man, what a good actor.

Is there a giant sea beast out there? Darn. Oh, he's thinking the frequency of his emergency signal bothers it, and he's being too adorable for words. He's asking the alien whale for help. And calling it LASSIE! Heeeeeeee!

"Maybe the Jumper can swim." Mhhh. Maybe when it's not all BROKEN, Rodney.

Ooh, cool 3D graph. Uh... that helps, Zlinky. Not. But you're being all cute and calling Elizabeth 'Elizabeth', so all is forgiven, especially since I'm sure Shep will save Rodney anyway.

Oooooooooooh. Yes, you heard her, Rodney! SAM! Wheee! And she's dressed in pink. Hehehehe.

"Of course I'm not real." Oh, I'm so glad they're doing it this way. Rodney was already waving his sanity goodbye. Instead, his hallucination is pointing to his head wound and nicely rationalizing itself. Herself. Whatever, this is all just sooo good. And so much fun! "There is brilliant, and then there's me." I can't believe he's arguing with her about who's smarter. And saying he's hallucinating her for sex, and calling her 'Blondie'! Hahaha. "You're essentially arguing with yourself. You realize that, right?" Oh, they're so unbelievably good.

And now, he's going to have doubts about... there he goes. He's perfectly right to question just how much of this is only in his head, but... oh, poor Rodney. (Should I make that into a macro, you think?) He's such a woobie. And they're so cute. Oh, the way he looks at her.

"Radek"? Oh, smart Shep. Smart. HA! Radek can't swim. But Shep has to go save his boyfriend, and besides, as he says, "There's not a lot of swimming under a thousand feet of ocean". Hee. Elizabeth can't order Radek to go, but Shep will, so she tells her boyfriend (by which I mean Radek) that if his boyfriend (that would be Rodney) can't turn to him, who [sic] can he turn to? Except for his other boyfriend Shep, obviously. Who stares at Radek just the minimum required amount of time to make him agree, because Radek is no coward, and THEY ALL LOVE RODNEY SO MUCH! I'm sorry I'm shouting. It's just... somuchlove. So damn much.

Man, Rodney and Sam together are the cutest thing ever. And, oh, poor Rodney is all confused. And frustrated. And of course even dream Sam is full of team spirit, and instead the conscious part of Rodney doesn't believe his friends won't stop trying to rescue him. Aw, no, Rodney. Haven't you figured out that they love you, yet? Shep would so hit you over the head for this, if you hadn't already hit it hard enough yourself.

"I can't even hallucinate right today." Heh. Rodney just keeps being fantastic.

Yay, Shep! Go save your boyfriend! Aw, Zlinky is so scared. Poor thing. But we have more really cool special effects! Wow.

Ha! "I forgot, I'm not helping."

Double ha! "I am a mind game." Martin Gero rocks.

Oh, so they've finally hit the bottom. See, Sam, I'd gotten that all by myself. *pats her own head* I get by.

"You claim to be a creation of my mind, and yet you are in no way dressed provocatively..." HAHAHA! This is possibly the most quotable episode ever. It's so great.

Oh, damn. Of course there had to be water coming in. And oh, God. Rodney had been so upset when he'd learned about his alternate self dying this way. Aw, man. *angsts*

So Radek is definitely 'Radek' for John now, uh? Sharing a boyfriend in peril gets people close. (Seriously, though, I am now afraid of what will happen when Rodney calls Shep 'John'. Really, think about it.) But it apparently does not prevent some people from finding the whole adventure at least a bit cool. Five years old, really. (Though it makes him so cute.)

Oh, man, how can there be this much water already? This is bad!

Oh, good thinking, Sam. Well, Rodney. Anyway, the positive pressure thing is a really good idea. As is heating the water.

Aw, and now he's being all cute and saying he loves working with Sam. And then he's arguing with himself, again, totally proving her point that he's petty, which is one of the reasons (he thinks) she wouldn't date him. Heh. He's right, though, that all these ideas are really his. Rodney has brains enough for one very smart person and a half, at least. And, see! He thinks of everything. Even of adjusting his own internal pressure by doing that funny puffy face people do when they go diving.

HA! He hugged her, and kissed her cheek, and she looks so uncomfortable. And kind of freaked. "You do realize what you're actually doing here, right?" HA!

"Oh, come on, you're a figment of my imagination, the least you could do is take your top off." HA!

"You're the worst hallucination ever." Hehehehehehehe. I'm dying here, people. Send flowers, and have "IT WAS ALL MARTIN AND DAVID'S FAULT" engraved on my tombstone, okay?

Aw, Rodney says he has every reason not to trust people. And especially Zlinky. Aw, no, come on. Don't be so mad at him. He's coming to rescue you! And for heaven's sake, don't cry. I can't tell if you are, and I don't want to. I'm dead already, remember?

(Side note: Rodney is now using the pronoun 'she' for the Jumpers. Has someone been spending a lot of time around Shep?)

Good luck, Rodney's boyfriends.

Ha! Sam is swimming around! Hehehe.

"For warmth." See? She's a hallucination (which, as Rodney correctly points out, can't actually transfer any heat at all), and she's still better at this than Mary Sue #234 was in The Hive.

Hee. So, to 'get him hot', she does take her top off, emerging from the water like she's in a pretty good painting or a pretty crappy movie, and then proceeds to kiss him. With, in fact, a decent amount of chemistry. And then Rodney joins us on the non-concussed side of the fence and figures out she's just trying to distract him so he won't be able to screw himself over (don't go there, don't go there, worst pun ever... oops) by activating the engines, but just as he starts getting angry a drop of water rolls off David's eyelashes while his eyes look oh-so-blue against the semi-darkness, and I imagine a lot of people missed quite a bit of his rant and only tuned back in to hear him call her 'Lieutenant Colonel Siren'. Erm. Good thing I only noticed the second time around.

No, Rodney, don't... Sam, stop him!

Oh, crap. That doesn't sound good at all.

Awww, Rodney! Don't worry, thirty minutes is plenty of time for your friends to rescue you. Besides, they also only have thirty minutes of shield power before they have to go back up, so everything fits and all will be well, see? Don't hug your computer thingy looking all lost and desperate like that. I forgot to get Danny the raccoon before sitting down to write this, and I can't hug my keyboard. *wibbles*

Radek is ranting in his native language about, I assume, something not working well enough (though, knowing David Nykl, he might have just said that Sheppard's stupid hair is really bugging him after prolonged exposure). Shep says his Czech must be getting better, because he understood, and I amuse myself imagining all the times Shep witnessed a full-blown Zelenka rant, thus picking up every single bad word in the Czech language, all in a funky montage with Shep making increasingly funny faces. As it turns out, Zlinky can't locate Rodney's Jumper, and... uh? Now the sea monster is going to give them trouble? I don't believe this.

And in fact, it is not so! My smart, smart Shep figures out that the whale is circling the other Jumper, and thus uses the 12 minutes they have left in an intelligent way.

Aw, Rodney. He's talking to the whale, now. And remembering Griffin. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ç_ç *pets Rodney*

"You're going to get out of this." "I don't think I would even believe that if you were naked." Ha!. Oh, he's being funny even now. Oh, don't fall asleep, Rodney, don't. Ohhh.

Yes, Rodney, you're right. She's wiser. (Then again, sometimes Shep is wiser than you are, which... I'll just let this drop. We're having a very emotional moment here.) But yes, after all, you were right, too. Aw. Rooodney.

Yes! They found him! And Shep won't let them go back without trying all they can (and can't), and since Zlinky watches Star Trek, like everyone there, they're extending the shields around the other jumper after landing to conserve power. And then, Zlinky says, they can just walk between the two jumpers. Ok. Cool. Really cool.

See, Rodney! They're here! That's Sheppard. Who called him 'buddy', with such relief in his voice, and, oh, give me a minute to go 'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' very profusely.

How cool is it that Shep bangs on the door of the jumper to show Rodney that he's right behind it? I don't know. I just love it. But Rodney will think that it's not true, won't he?

There, I knew it. No, Rodney! You have to trust Shep! Trust him!

(Although, does the fact that he thinks he's hallucinating Sheppard mean he's got the hots for him, too? Just... wondering about the level of subtext here, move along.)

Yes! Do it, Rodney! Open the door! And he warned them about the water coming out. He's just... aw.

Oh, noes! The door can't not work, now!

Aw, I love that she went underwater with him. And he's so very graceful.

And this shot of him holding on as the water rushes out is so. Cool. Yay for the other Martin!

Aw, they saved him. And they're getting him home. And he's still talking about Carter as they help him into the other jumper, and justifying this by saying he hurt his head. Aww, Rodney. And there's the whale, too! Preeeetty. I didn't think they'd actually show it. It's beautiful. Plus, he helped. As Shep says.

"Almost thought we'd lost you." "I knew you'd think of something. Subconsciously, at least." Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. They love him so.

Awwww! Bye, Sam!

In conclusion: AWWW.

Atlantis and stuff and ALAN LEE OMGELEVENTYFIVEANDAHALF.

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 04:18:22 GMT

(LJ is trying to drown me in comment notifications from all over the past month. It is most annoying. I wanted to answer people before they, you know, might think I was blissfully ignoring them or not so blissfully turning into a mummified corpse. No love, LJ. No love.)

Before I commence acute squeeing over this week's Atlantis, a couple of words about Epiphany, or, Joe Flanigan Writes Fanfic. I have to admit, I was slightly disappointed with this ep, because I'd been anticipating it for over eleven months, that is, ever since I found out Joe was writing an episode, back in January, and now I find that one half of the plot is... flatter than a very sad pancake. (Poor pancake.) Character-wise, the episode was excellent. The premise of the time dilation field was very interesting, and full of potential. But the Ascended wannabes and their Beast... er. *facepalm* My kingdom for one less scene with Creepy Stalkerish Mary Sue and one more scene at the end with Shep actually coping with the fact that as far as he's concerned, he was away from home for six months.

Oh, well. At least Teyla was smart, Elizabeth was (gasp!) kinda useful, Ronon was pissy, Carson was soverycute, and Rodney was fantastic. It's all been said by others, but... let me tell you how much I love Rodney. Rodney! Who deals with the highest branches of Physics but is totally not above duct-taping stuff to, erm, a more literal branch when things need to get done. Who gets frustrated because there is no time, and they have to go save Shep, and he calls his teammates 'Conan and Xena' and throws his pack at Carson. Who freely admits he's crap at piloting jumpers and that one of the brilliant ideas of the day was Zlinky's, because he's too busy trying to help his friend to put any effort into, well, being Rodney. (Who, btw, looked HOT as heck in this episode. So very pretty. I mean, even more than usual. Can he always look like that, please?) Somuchlove.

Not to mention that Shep was hot, pretty, dorky, a wannabe extra from both Flashdance and High Noon, made the funniest bored faces ever, and got all lonely and hungry and frustrated and scared and with abandonment issues OMGWOOBIE. Somuchlove, again.

Honourable mentions of Things Me Likey Verreh Much: the MALP-on-a-stick (obviously), Shep talking to himself, Teyla carrying and throwing bags bigger than her, Shep facing the Beast with his puny knife, Rodney and Carson shooting to defend Elizabeth, Shep jumping the Beast and doing a ~~Dorky~~ Graceless Sprawling Faceplant onto the ground (9.5 from the Canadian judge, but we think there might be some bias there), and people teasing Shep about pretty much everything. Also, when we saw Shep's sad, sad reflection in the water as he was told he could never go back home, I thought I heard the sound effect of a person going through the puddle of an event horizon. I might have hallucinated that, but don't tell me, because I liked it too much.

Incidentally, I am mourning the loss of the first concepts Joe had had in mind for his episode, and because I find it very interesting that apparently, as far as he's concerned, the show is All About Sheppard & McKay (And Then Maybe Possibly Some Other People, But They're Totally Not Important), I'm going to copy and paste what he said about Epiphany at a con in Vancouver last April, as found on Gateworld:

"I wrote the story, and Brad is attacking the screenplay right now. And it's called 'Epiphany.' ... I really had an idea for 'The Man Who Would Be King.' It was me and McKay discovering Z.P.M.s and becoming greedy and kind of drunk with power. And I thought that that would make for a great episode. And I got the standard reply that I always get when I pitch a story, which is, 'Oh, we did that on SG-1, Joe. Episode 157 ... haven't you seen it?'

"And so we had to come up with an episode that obviously hadn't been done, which is very difficult because Stargate has been on the air for a few thousand years. And so we came up with an idea where I get stuck on a planet that has a different time ratio, and I actually age faster. I go through the threshold and I'm waiting for McKay and the rest of the team to go through, and they don't come through. And a year goes by and I'm stuck on this planet with these other people, and I've got a beard and everything else and I've become sort of the de facto sheriff.

"And McKay shows up and only five minutes has gone by in his world. And, of course, I say, 'Where the hell have you been?' And he says, 'What are you talking about? It's only been five minutes.'

"And it's a planet of people who are going to ascend. And the Ancients went onto this planet and to get away from the Wraith they put it under a different time dilation device, a different time ratio, and they ascended. And there's a group of people who weren't capable of ascending, and those are the people we deal with."

... I'll totally forego mentioning that with the kind of spin and emphasis they chose to give this episode, they couldn't possibly have made it more like an old episode of SG-1 (see: A Hundred Days). I'm not bitter, I'm not... Oh, heck. It's just that Joe has been saying he wants to do episodes of the Shep&McKay Show for ages now, and... I'd had high hopes for this one. *shrugs*

Not that we didn't get a really good episode after that. Here, have the usual not-quite-running commentary by yours truly.

-*Flashback: Green Sheep's Lair of Illegal Downloads Galore, Tuesday evening. Sheep has a comfy armchair, a blankie, Danny the Raccoon, and the latest 'Lantis. Let the fun begin.*-

Zlinky! As found in the text message a friend sent me while watching the episode: "An episode that starts on Zel has to be a good episode. Especially if it also starts on Ronon in a sleeveless shirt." Especially, I might add, if Zlinky is going off-world, as I deduced more from the clothes he was wearing and the pissed-off look on his face, than from the fact that he was standing in front of the Gate with a ton of field gear packed and ready around him. I can't decide what this says about my deductive skills. I also can't decide why it's so weird to see Sheppard interacting with him without Rodney around. Mh. But, HA! Zlinky is an uncle, and he hates kids. There's something he and Rodney can always agree on, supposing Zlinky doesn't kill him for sending him to Neverland Planet. Rodney is eeeeeeeeeevil. Also, he thinks he's Fonzie. And, heee! Maybe Shep thinks that giving a thumb up and clicking your tongue is, like, a super seekrit scientist handshake, and makes a total fool of himself imitating Rodney imitating Fonzie. I ♥ my geeky dork. And my dorky geek.

Two Wraith cruisers are trying to blast each other into oblivion while crossing the road a couple of blocks from Atlantis. Excuse me while I picture the two Wraith queens having a bitchy, all-out catfight on a street corner, complete with trash-talking and hair-pulling. Ahhh. The thought of the galaxy being made even marginally safer by Shep's Seat-Of-The-Baggy-Pants plan always fills me with joy.

Hee! The SGC! Agent Barrett! (I can't believe I remembered his name. In my head, he's usually just "that cute FBI guy who's still inexplicably alive after years crushing on Sam".) Wait, he's saying there's a Goa'uld on Atlantis? Oh, noes!

[Sheep's reaction to the news of a bomb being planted on Atlantis:] O_O WHAT? AAAAAAHHHH!

(What can I say. I really don't want them to go boom.)

Oh, I love this episode already, and the credits are not even over yet! Yay for tv plots that you can't go wrong with! (One hopes.)

Dr. Lee! (Is he wearing Tony DiNozzo's green striped shirt of hotness? Because on him the effect is not quite... nevermind.) EEESH. The bomb will go off when they dial Earth? That sucks. It's so mean.

Cadman! Hello, Cadman! When they showed her with her face in the shadow like that, I thought they were being very obvious and that she was the Goa'uld operative. Instead, she is just, uh... very, very pretty. I don't remember her being so beautiful in Duet, but I must say, Carson does have good taste after all. Hee! She's totally staying to be with Carson, and Sheppard is totally letting her stay because being around her drives Rodney crazy, and this amuses him to no end. Loot at how he's smirking! Evil Shep, having fun at his boyfriend's expense like that. (They are totally boyfriends in this episode. There's nothing particular to it, just an extremely strong boyfriend-y vibe. Or, as my notes read, "McShep liek whoa." Verbatim.)

Awww. Teyla and Carson (who are really cute together, though not quite in a couple-y way), and Teyla's sort-of Grandma. Aw, no, Grandma is ill. How sad. Can I say that I just about melted when Carson called Teyla 'love'? Lately, all I think about Carson can be summed up by "Carson is LOVE". He's just too nice.

Dr. Lee has nice handwriting and, uh, stick figure ship-drawing. Er. The Twilight Bark? Oh my God, he just quoted 101 Dalmatians. And he has kids! With whom he watches old Disney movies! Aw. I'm so very glad that Daniel saved him from the bad, mean South-American zombie kidnappers. HA! Especially since he just demonstrated that every last person at the SGC is a closet geek and has seen The Return of the King half a dozen times. *loves*

Hermiod! KAVANAGH! Omg, he's on the Daedalus! Apparently, they stuck him on the first thing with airlocks they could get their hands on. Fantastic. (Can you tell I'm watching the new Doctor Who? Soverygood. Jack/Doctor(/Rose) 4evah, baby.) I want everyone from season one to come back before this season is over. Er, everyone that's not, you know, dead. Though this is Stargate, and you never know.

Oh, yes, Hermie, please do! Save the day! The Daedalus could break and be stuck out there? SO GOOD. I'm loving this.

You know, I didn't remember Kavanagh having such a nice voice, but he does. HA! Hermiod totally PWNED him, baby. Oh, yeah.

Hi, Chuck! (I found out, watching the end credits, that Chuck is the actor's actual name. I hadn't known this, and was for some reason vastly amused. Anyway.) No, Chuck! Don't dial Earth! Oh, man! TENSION! The writers totally know that there can be no greater conveyor of suspense than a download progress bar. Evil fellow geeks.

"STOP!" Woooah. Oh, Rodney. *swoons*

Yes, yes, Rodney, good idea. Unplug the ZPM. Good boy. HA! Zlinky is now literally stuck with the kids for an indefinite amount of time! Rodney's evil plan has reached completion.

Mmmh. The people who wash Joe's Shep-clothes have seen the light. I could have sworn that black t-shirt was at least one size bigger last year. Hot. Unlike Lizzie, who's wearing her scariest amount of eye make-up yet. Eeesh.

That's a very good description of a Goa'uld, Shep. I see you've been doing your homework and reading ~~fic~~ mission reports. (And with that choice of words, they were totally Jack's. Oh, Jack. I miss you. My friends are buying MacGyver DVDs, but it's just not the same.) Cadman is a bomb expert, uh? Is that true, or are you just trying to stick Rodney with her? Is Zlinky giving you alcohol in exchange for making Rodney's life hell while Rodney makes Zlinky's life hell? What? *eyes John suspiciously* *g* BTW, this is the very first time I've actually perceived Sheppard as the military leader of Atlantis. Partly because he said "my command", but mainly because he showed actual knowledge of Cadman's skills, and that he has a clear idea of whom he trusts among his people. So far, he'd still always felt like a very tacked-on commander, so to speak. Anyway, he could be leading a flock of ducks for all I care, as long as he keeps looking that hot as he leans on his hand all angsty and pensive like that. Yay for shallowness!

The Athosian settlement looks oddly like something one might find behind the stage of a modern-day Woodstock. Mh. Hee! Teyla can't cook. It's the silliest "Look! She's not all perfect! Really!" thing, and yet it works in making me love her more, because she actually looked kind of hurt that Grandma and Carson mocked her mad cooking skillz, but then she smiled, too. Aw, Teyla. How did you get to be so likeable, when in season one I was all 'meh' about you? (Except when you were kicking Shep's ass. I always loved you when you did that.) These three are so sweet. But, oh, noes! A ceremony... to celebrate an Athosian dying of natural causes, because the Wraith make that so rare among them. I... *meeeeeep!* Aw, Teyla, sweetheart, don't cry, or I'll cry, too. Awww. *is sad*

Eh. These transitions back and forth from the SGC are awfully jarring. It's probably the worst thing about the episode, its kinda jerky pacing, but it's still pretty ok, and the episode is still very, very good. Uh, back to what they're actually saying. No transmitter? You mean the bomb can go boom without a connection to Earth? NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! Eep! Uh, Sam? Where? (From what Gateworld says, this is probably one of those 'crossover week' episodes. Maybe when the rest of the world catches up to Canada we'll see Sam and Dr. Lee argue over the merits of the Extended Editions of LOTR.)

Yes, Daedalus, go! I'm loving them this week.

"And I can tap-dance, too." Hee! LOVE for Cadman! Plz not to make her die, 'kay, writers?

I love that it's dark around the city. Maybe it doesn't make much sense, since it's not like they couldn't turn on the lights before they had the ZPM, but it conveys "oh noes we without shiny Energizer bunny battery and must use crappy backup generators" pretty well.

DHD? NONONONONONONONONO! Stop it! Stop it! Oh, thank God. It stopped by itself. See, Rodney does always have good ideas.

Distress beacon? OH, NOES! Now the conveniently-placed bitchfighting Wraith will find out that Atlantis is still there! Nonononono! *angsts terribly* 'Charred rubble'? Oh, I love Rodney! And, uh, that's a good question. Let me get back to you later, guys.

Teyla/Carson! Well, not really, but they are LOVE. "Her heart is beating in an... untimely fashion." OMG CARSON IS LOVE. I'm so easy for his Britishness.

Walter, hi! Always nice to see you. Oh, so Uncle Skinner is going there to help. Sometimes he's really not bad at all. [Looking back... HA. I'm hopeless. *snickers self-mockingly*]

Shep is hot, hot, hot. And also smart. Come on, Elizabeth, you should at least consider the possibility. She's more hopeless than I am, honestly.

Cadman? HAHAHA! Oh, Rodney. Although... *flashes back to the start of the episode* I hope he's not right, but when Rodney goes paranoid... uh.

Lizzie, I'm pretty much okay with the principle of you taking care of this investigation, but you have to remember two things: 1), a ship's captain has a very strong sense of responsibility for his crew, and 2), Skinner is a lot bigger than you. Tread carefully, 'kay?

HA! They want to interrogate Kavanagh first, just because they don't like him. Hee. You know, there are a lot of suspicious facts that would point to him, but I'm 100% sure that he's not the bad guy. You know why, aside from the fact that if he was they wouldn't be suspecting him yet (it's TV!), and that it doesn't fit with the character? Yeah, the real reason is that this is a brilliant parody of all those fanfictions that make bratty, unpleasant Kavanagh EEEEEEEVIL, and I'm laughing my ass off over this. Plus, he's totally right about Elizabeth's personal feelings (totally in love with Shep, much?). And, HEE! 'Strength'! Kavanagh is evidently Atlantis' designated guy for finding lame euphemisms for, uh, someone's 'privates'. Hee. *g* Although, uh, how was Lizzie particularly reckless about the siege? Oh, nevermind. It's Kavanagh. He's right about quite a bit of stuff, but he's also a stupid jerk most of the time.

"All I have left"? Awww, Teyla! You're making me cry again. *sigh*

Aw, Novak is nervous, and thus hiccuping like crazy. How cute. OMG. I just had a really weird flash. The saboteur... is it HERMIOD? O_O *glares suspiciously at the screen* Oh, ok. But you have to admit, it was a fun thought. Cranky, vindictive Asgaard snaps after spending too much time among stupid humans and sells them all off. Heh. "Sir. Ma'am." Hee. Novak is fun. She would have made a very amusing bad guy, too.

What do you mean there's no bomb? Oh. Oh. The ZPM. Baaaaaaaaad. o_o "Like a dam." "No, it's not like a dam, it's more like a... actually, yes, it's like a dam." Hee. Also, Shep's mission in this episode clearly is to drive Rodney insane. The entire planet can go boom? Oh, noes! (Yes, Laura is still very pretty. I still fear that she'll turn out to be the saboteur, or that they'll kill her, or both. That would totally suck, especially for Carson.) Uh. So, if you turn on too many things at once, the ZPM overloads and everything goes to hell. Sounds a lot like the wiring in my house.

Hee. Liz says it would take someone, like, SMART to pull this sabotage off, and instead of realizing that for the first time ever someone has said something kinda nice about him, Kavanagh starts pointing the finger toward Rodney... and then Zlinky. Which is a big, big mistake, because Lizzie gets all riled up that someone would dare say something like that about her boyfriend (I kid you not! Did you see how pissed she was?), and starts laying the smackdown on Kavanagh. Whom I feel kinda bad for now, seeing how hurt he was that she'd so easily believe he'd conspire to wipe Atlantis off the face of the universe. Nah, I don't believe she'll really have him tortured. She doesn't have the... strength. (Plus, Lizzie, really, it's totally not him. Trust me! Don't go to the moral grey area! It upsets me!)

This episode is being quite OT3ish. Me likey. I miss stuff like The Storm, The Eye, and Before I Sleep.

Well, Carson, I think you also took an oath to respect your patients' wishes, so shut up and go back to being sweet and cuddly, 'kay? We get that you care about preserving life, really, we do. *pats his head*

Ooooh, hot Shep. Again. He's very much with the pure hotness this week. I, of course, appreciate this a hell of a lot. Erm. Aw, Skinner is sitting on that table in an unbearably cute way, especially for a big, strapping, bald guy. Uh, Ronon is way hot over there, too. Damn. Uh, NO, Ronon. No way. "Debate morality"? Whu? What's going on here? Sheeeeeeeeep? His mouth says "yes" and his face says "uh, yeeesh, no?", and I'm really, really uncomfortable.

Gap? Mh. I'm still unhappily suspicious of the "TAP-DANCING EXPLOSIVES EXPERT"! Oh, Rodney! ♥! And, uh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Look at him! He's camping out because he's close to her! She can now gay him up by proxy! THIS IS PURE GENIUS! *laughs herself sick while building a shrine to Teh Hewlett*

You know, this plot about Teyla's Grandma is... uh... WHAT THE HECK IS IT DOING HERE? *pant, pant* And it's so SAD! Grandma is dead! Noes! Caaarson! Teeeeeeeeeeeyla! Meep! ç_ç

Hee. I love that they're whispering, like they feel like the Wraith can hear them, and then Cadman just shouts for Rodney even if he's standing, like, four feet away. OH, the stardrive! Smart writers. Smart. *pats them* Also, OMG. Is the saboteur really Laura? Is it too obvious? Too subtle? I just don't understand tv any more. I just fall in love with everyone and go stupid(er).

Make room? Oh, Shep. You always want to save everyone. *hugs him*

No, no, no, it's not. Him. Guys, why can't you listen to me? Rodney, stop doing the computer voice, I'm sure you wanted to be Spock when you grew up, and not Majel Barrett.

"Do it"? ??? This is daaaaaaaaaark. *shivers* Dammit.

Wow, Teyla is PRETTY. I mean, usually she's hot, but now she's pretty. I'm very much envying her dress, even though I'd never wear it. Aw, Carson is all worried about them.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. No, Ronon, NO! *hides behind her chair*

Is this where Teyla sings? Oh, hey, she can sing! Nice. Although it sounds a bit stupid, since there's nowhere the music could come from and it breaks the fourth wall a little too much. Also, the guys at the SGC are not the only ones who've seen LOTR one too many times. Guys? We can all agree that both Teyla and Éowyn are immensely cool. This does not mean that Teyla wants to be Éowyn for Halloween this year, 'kay? Put down the DVDs. Really.

And yet... oh, heck. I don't care that it's stupid to have this music, I don't care that it's way too LOTR, I don't care that it's really not very 'Lantis-like at all. (In fact, this last thing might even be a good one.) Because there's a MONTAGE, with Teyla singing kinda meaningful lyrics over shots of Rodney and Lizzie, and beautiful music with a GORGEOUS choir part over the whole climax of the episode, which... Oh, man. I had goosebumps. There was Shep's tiny hint of a relieved smile when Ronon said Kavanagh had fainted without him even touching him... picture a giant, amplified version of that on my face. (Bit of a cop-out, but I so don't care. I was grateful. I didn't need that particular piece of angst in this episode. I want me and this show to live happily ever after. They can get darker in another season or so. I'll be waiting.) And then there was me gaping at the screen, because Skinner couldn't possibly be evil, and that meant it was Cadman for sure, but then Sheppard cocked his gun, and SKINNER WAS A GOA'ULD, and I got scared as heck and jumped back from my screen, because like them I'd been stupid enough to assume all of Barrett's intel was right, even the bit about the operative being a human, and then I got closer to the screen again to drool over Sheppard's arms and Sheppard's hands and all the rest of him. And a bit over Ronon and his smirk and his "Won't be a fair fight, then," and his leather pants. But mostly over Shep. And then I went from drooling to just bestowing massive amounts of LOVE on him when he pulled the trigger on that taser, and then again, and stared at Caldwell like he thought he could bring him out over the Goua'uld if he just wanted it bad enough, because this one wasn't too far gone, this one he could save, and save everyone else, too. And yay! for Caldwell (yeah, I think he deserves to be called with his proper name this time, the poor thing), because he actually made it, and gave Shep the access code, and John had to RUN to get the code to Rodney, because there are no radios in Middle-Earth, and everyone was safe and they could breathe, and Ronon leaned on the control panel and made everyone want to pet him, but Shep made me want to pet him even more by just standing there with his hands on his hips and that look on his face. Oh, Shep.

Yeah. Loved that.

Aw, Teyla. *hugs her*

AW! Look at them! Carson and Laura are so very cute. See, now I'm trying to understand if Rodney is supposed to be kind of secretly crushing on Cadman, and all confused about it, because, honestly, that would work on so many levels. (Of course, since she likes Carson, Rodney will have to realize that he and Shep are the OTP and all will be well and they'll live happily ever after and babysit Carson and Laura's deceivingly cute children, with great amusement on Shep's part and bottomless horror on Rodney's, Teh End.)

Oh, yes, save Uncle Skinner! He's a woobie!

AAAAH!!! OMG! It wasn't just a silly behind-the-scenes picture! OMG! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! And he's so. Pissed. Off. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[See, some time ago a fan went on the set for a visit and snapped this absolutely priceless shot:

Of course, it made little sense for David Nykl to look like that and be wearing his uniform and NOT actually have that be in an episode, but this is the Stargate set. You never know. So I wasn't sure. And I could speculate forever on what the look on David Hewlett's face might mean here, but... I think I'll just enjoy it a whole lot, period. *g*]

Back to the ep. Mh. Elizabeth is really feeling like hell about the Kavanagh thing, uh? Understandably. And so Shep comes in and asks if she's seen Zlinky, and I MELT because I haven't seen him so genuinely close to laughing ever since he threw Rodney off that balcony, like, an age ago, and... *sigh* Anyway, his method for subtly trying to cheer Elizabeth up is to tell her Zlinky looks funny as heck (20% of the cheering up), reassure her that she did the right thing (that's 10% of it), and then sit on her desk and strike a rather sexy pose (I think he was going for 70%, but I believe he could have done this last part only and made her just as happy. I'm just saying, it would have worked for me, I'm sure).

Fade out on Elizabeth looking depressed, Shep looking quite unhappy and entirely too hot, and me perving on Shep a whole lot, before getting up and dancing around the house to express my utter LOVE of this episode.

And to end this looong post on another squeeful note... I GOT TO SEE ALAN LEE TODAY OMG! Well, more like yesterday, by now, but. The universe conspired to make me as late as possible, so I missed most of his talk, but I caught the Q&A session, and then had him sign my Mum's copy of The Lord of the Rings (the one illustrated by him, of course) for her, since she couldn't come with me. He is sweet, polite, kind, sweet, funny, cute, sweet, patient, nice, sweet, humble, cute, still quite shy, gentle, and did I mention how sweet he is? In short, he's exactly how you see him in the DVD extras. Except maybe that I'd thought he'd be really tall, and instead he's just, uh, normal-tall. Maybe in the DVDs I just saw him around hobbit-y people a lot. He answered even the most, er, weird questions with extreme kindness, and then while he was signing stuff he shook everyone's hand, tried to exchange a couple of words with anyone who wanted to, and even let a few of us have our picture taken with him, in spite of the fact that it was getting late and he had to catch a flight back to London to be at the premiere of King Kong. (Man, I really hope he made it. Why won't Teh Interweb tell me anything?!?) I felt terribly guilty even stealing those twenty seconds I did, but I am so happy to have met him. He's a truly wonderful guy.

Oh God, the squeee, the SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 07:46:37 GMT

Oh, NCIS, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

(In an image-heavy post, because I got a little carried away and there are seventeen screencaps behind the cut. I tried to make them smallish, but I also wanted you guys to actually see them, so...)

Just so you know, I jumped around the house grinning into mirrors and pumping my fists into the air after seeing this episode. Now, that might have something to do with sleep deprivation, but I highly doubt it. This episode was just so cool, to say it like Abby would. Oh, Abby. *happy, worshipful sigh*

Way I love NCIS tonight #1: I am endlessly grateful that the real tension only lasted for about half of the episode or so. I had accidentally gotten spoiled about the basic premise (darn), and I'd been fretting for two weeks, afraid that I couldn't take it. I have one of the worst possible knee-jerk reactions to unfairness, people being wrongly accused, and any restriction to freedom. Mentally speaking, it's the absolute worst thing anyone could do to me. I always feel like crap watching this kind of episodes, even if it's just tv and I know it can't possibly end badly, like in this one. So they were merciful, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #2: I totally didn't care that it was obvious from the very first minute that Chip was the culprit. They tried to give us the slightest red herring with poor Jimmy and his root canal, but Chip has always been obviously way more evil. (Although when they bumped into each other, I thought the universe would implode.) The episode wasn't about figuring out who had done it, but only about how to get out of a seemingly air-tight spot and thus save Tony. They didn't waste focus on the wrong things, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #3: I didn't care that Abby took out the guy with the knife without getting so much as a scratch, because Chip was just the less physically threatening villain ever, and Abby has studded leather jewelry, huge boots and Goth superpowers. (Plus, Chip just might have picked up the toy knife from a couple of episodes ago. I'm just saying, that would have been funny.) He might have had a chance with his Evil Mustache, but Gibbs is very farsighted (his superpowers sometimes show, in weird parallels, in everyday things like his need for glasses), and made him shave it off before it could harm any of his people. Plus, they had her tie him up with miles of duct tape, and that's just too good. They let Abby kick ass while still being her fragile self, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #4: Speaking of Abby, well, every single thing about her tonight was great, and they should all have hugged her a gazillion times. Gibbs gets points for petting her. The Caf-Pow that she used as a teddy bear! The 'fun' twirl! The upside-down check on McGee's ass, which Ziva Can't Have Any Claim To! But also, the guilt, concern and love for Tony that was just pouring out of her. *gives Abby a bear hug* Although the absolute best part was the Profession of Faith to the God of Forensics. If I'd had pom-poms, I would have, like, done a cartwheel and a one-girl human pyramid. As it was, I might have raised my own hands to the sky and made a kind of Profession of Faith to the Goddess Abby. Might, mind you. So they put Abby at the end of her rope and she went crazy; she bounced back by going crazier, and I Saw That It Was Good, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #5: They went crazy all the way. I mean, the back and forth between Tony the Federal Prosecutor and Tony the Psychotic Killer was pretty new for the show and an awesome stage for Michael Weatherly, but the way they framed the montage of the FBI tightening the noose around the evidence with the music made by Tony rapping his hands on the interrogation room table was pure genius. They do fantastic things like this out of the blue sometimes, and every time I go crazy with glee. They're usually not afraid of breaking the scheme a little; this was a peculiar episode, and they weren't afraid to play with it any way they wanted, and I love them so.
[More about the cell scene later, when I get the biggest piece of the slashy SQUEE out and am left all empty and floaty on the inside.]

Way I love NCIS tonight #6: Dude, the continuity. All those little things they planted in the previous episodes! They make some minor screw-ups sometimes, but they plan ahead in a way that's unbelievably beautiful. The best example of this is certainly the story of Gibbs' daughter and wife (*angsts*), but there were others that were just way cool. By the way, the last time a random guy walked up to Gibbs in the middle of an episode for totally unrelated chatter, he was dead and gutted within 24 hours (*wibbles*). I'm guessing there won't be any fishing or golfing to be enjoyed, here. They weave this show carefully instead of just tugging on a string, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #7: Jen. I know! But she was kind of cool and got with the plan and actually made herself useful and flirted with Ziva like CRAZY, whoa. As a ginormous bonus, Gibbs actually used his Mandatory Grainy European Flashback of the episode to diss her, and that was awesome. So they finally used her the right way, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #8: Other people who had flirty exchanges with Ziva, namely McGee, Tony and Ducky. The tush war was mostly funny because Ziva clued in to the fact that whenever someone makes an inappropriate comment that they really wouldn't care to elaborate on, Gibbs materializes (it's his superpower number six or seven, I think). It tooke her a very short time, probably thanks to her Cool Mary Sue superpowers. Plus, we can all agree on her basic ratings, right? Right. Moving along. Onto Ducky, and the fact that he speaks Israeli (of course, he was a spy in the '60s!), and how cute and adorable and funny and cool he and Ziva are, playing around on the oddest even field ever. They dunked them into a river, and it was all ok because Ducky has superpowers, too, like everyone else on the team, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #9: The FBI guys: Fornell being all sweet and considerate and in the loop, knowing that ~~Gibbs~~ ~~the NCIS team~~ Gibbs needs to know that Tony will be looked after even when Gibbs can't do that himself; and Other FBI Guy, who doesn't know that everyone at NCIS is Teh Crazy and is totally thrown by Tony and his defense mechanisms and his gigantic crush on Magnum. They didn't make the good guys into bad guys, and I love them so.

Way I love NCIS tonight #10: Tony. Oh, Tony. Who knew, knew, knew that he was screwed, because he's smart and a damn good cop, and goofed off more and more and more until he couldn't take it any more and cracked and broke down with tears in his eyes sitting in that cell in front of Gibbs and excuse me, I need a tissue. *wipes tears away* Tony, who worked eight years in three different forces (Police, NCIS, and... uh? Counting all his different PDs, you'd have four, so... uh?), and can't get around to count the people who would want to destroy his life; who is a bit less flexible than he likes to think; who stays home and watches Magnum, PI in the evening; who likes what sounds like one of the tastiest pizzas ever, and I'm so trying that the next time we eat pizza; who could smell Gibbs coming with his pizza, right down to the toppings, and I think that's equal parts knowing that Gibbs knows him, and using his superpowers ~~(because he's totally a Sentinel, and you know it)~~; who, by the way, looks really hot in that purple shirt, and was totally wearing a pound of mascara, 'cause, dude, those eyelashes; who grabbed McGee through the bars, and I don't know if he did that out of frustration, or to try and play their normal game with McGee, or because he kind of needed a hug and is a big, desperate weirdo. *wibbles* Tony whom no one, at any time, really suspected could have been a murderer; not even, I think, Other FBI Guy. Because, as he says, he is a nice guy. As I say, he's a good man. They didn't go the cheap and wrong route of having someone doubt, and I love them so.
[More about Tony's favourite pizza coming right up, when... see above.]

Way I love NCIS tonight #11: Gibbs, and the ways he loves Tony. I wanted to make these two different points, and I found that I couldn't. Sure, Gibbs did a lot of other excellent Gibbs things in this episode, like the aforementioned petting of Abby (with his patented kiss on her hair! Awww) and the dissing of the Madam Director, and how he just got up and RAN the instant he realized Chip was the bad guy and Abby was alone with him. That Tony just rushed after him, followed closely by everyone else, made me go starry-eyed. Go, team!
But... mostly, Gibbs killed me with the way he cared. I tend to talk about this in slash-related terms, but really, no matter what kind of love we're talking about, Gibbs surely has a lot of that going on for Tony. And that melts my heart.
The way as soon as Tony's picture came up on the screen, fear crept into his eyes and never left until the end. The way he leaned and stood too close to him, even closer than usual. The way he looked at people like he just expected them to understand that he wasn't letting Tony go down, and there could be no questioning of that, how could they not know? The way he took part of the work on himself and looked kind of hurt that Tony would think he wouldn't get his hands dirty for him. The way he always was the one to tell Tony what was going on. The way he visited Tony in jail and brought him his favourite pizza, which is their official comfort food ~~of love and declarations thereof~~, the way he gave him that little sad smile, the way he just stood there and stared at Tony, smiling at his antics and then getting so serious and intense as the façade slowly, finally broke, and the way he motioned him over and smacked the back of his head, which is their official code for "I care about you and I'm not losing you", and then the way he tapped Tony's chin up... I can't express this properly. I'm going to take really crappy screencaps and get moved to tears again in the process. Here, look for yourselves.

Gibbs brings Tony the Pizza of Love.

With his favourite toppings.

Aw...

... shucks.

Tony is acting out how a brilliant scene about screwed he is.

Which he knows well, and now he just can't hide it any more.

Artsy shot.

Tony is almost crying. I'm right there with him.

Gibbs calls Tony over.

Tony springs up, because his Boss summoned.

Man, the intensity of that look.

Gibbs smacks Tony out of his funk.

Tony thanks him.

Gibbs winks at him and smiles.

And then he taps his chin, like, "buck up!", and Tony looks at him like that, and I die.

Tony sits down after Gibbs leaves.

And eats the Pizza of Love to feel less lonely.

And through all of this, Gibbs does not say a single word. And look at his eyes. He doesn't need to.

I'm officially dead.

And they love each other so.

House 2x07

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 23:09:50 GMT

A few weeks ago, I was telling someone how weird it was to watch Stuart Little, now that I look at sweet, mild Mr. Little and see Gregory House. I had this mental image of House tilting his head and staring down at the little white mouse, going: "You're supposed to be my what?" My friend said she had a slightly different take on the encounter, namely the poor mouse meeting his precocious demise via House's cane.

I feel vindicated. For once, I was right. He even adopted the rat. I'm still giggling. And they were so cute, with the head-tilting. (Though the best thing might have been Wilson knowing that rats only sweat through their tails. I understand it's not as random as it may sound, but it was so funny.)

I'm not touching the HIV plot and all its possible implications with a ten feet pole. It's all quite annoyingly soap opera-ish to me. I just want to say... I didn't find it squicky when Chase kissed that little girl, because it's not like he was enjoying it or anything. That he slept with Cameron when she was totally high and he was perfectly lucid, on the other hand, bothered me. It's just wrong.

(Of course, this also shows that Chase will do almost anything you ask him to, no matter the circumstances. Considering he has an even prettier body than I thought, that could be an interesting consideration.

I'm just sayin'.)

House is dreadfully cute when he wants to be, but I wanted to hit him over the head with his cane for being such a shameless manipulative asshole. I mean, I still rave about Cameron forcing him to go out on a date with him, but compared to that this was... sheesh. At least she was upfront about it. And it was just a date. I couldn't believe what he was doing. I still love him, but I want to hit him.

Even if he lives at number 221B, and that was cause of much squeeing. (Though, talking about that scene, Wilson might want to try being slightly more convincing when he ~~lies~~ says he and House are not together. I don't think the patient believed him for a moment, and he hadn't even seen them being totally married inside the house. But frankly, who would have?)

New Atlantis! WHEEE!

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:58:57 GMT

Previously on Atlantis: Ford was scary, everyone was on drugs, and a Wraith, who only wishes she were as scary as Marilyn Manson or even Ford, made John kneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel.

Eep. Shep's still in trouble. And still kneeeeling. And kind of... panting. Even though LJ has completely corrupted my mind, I will not think pervy thoughts. I will not.

Ok, maybe just a little.

Although I think the Wraith is having pervy thoughts, too, if the way she's trying to... uh, ineffectively tug his clothes off is any indication. This Wraith suck. Bob was way better at ripping open Sheppard's jacket in a forceful, threatening manner.

Uh? Now what? Is Teyla sending her mental images of naked Athosian grannies, or something? Whatever it is, Shep, I'm thinking that having her *not* focused on you is a good thing, so get with the plan, mmmkay? Also, try to look like you weigh more than your own boots. I understand wanting to keep Joe's arms in their sockets, I really do, but the way Shep just sprung up like that was hilarious. I see the real theme of the season (manhandling Sheppard) is in full swing.

Hey, credits! You're still shiny and new. I hadn't caught how the event horizon ripple effect first brings their images in, and then washes over again to freeze them in their Cool Dramatic Shot. It's kind of pretty, even though the freeze-frames on Paul and David are kind of... weird.

Hee. Ronon pulled Sheppard off the floor, and he did the spring toy move again. I'm entertained, I totally am. And Ronon leaning over Shep to see if he's fine is just too cute. How many times can you type "Ronon is a big puppy" before your keyboard has a fit and tries to smash itself over your head? Because he really, really is. *huggles Ronon*

Rodney! Hi, Rodney. I missed you. Aw, Rodney wants to go save his team and Ford's guys are just sitting there playing... rock chess? I don't know why, but it's funny. What's not funny is the big-ass, HUGE gun they're shoving at Rodney's chest. Man, the thing's bigger than he is. Roooooodneeey. *whimper*

I see that the way Sheppard gets out of tight spots is still to look down at his trusty WWMD bracelet. As long as there's nothing more dangerous than a nuke around, I'd say that's pretty smart. Good boy. As is Ford, who follows Gibbs' rule about never going anywhere without a knife! Multiple fandoms rot your brain in the best possible way, I'm telling you. Shep, being a flying surfer and not a Marine, only has hair gel hidden on his person, but Ronon is cooler than a Marine and has *two* knives on him. I *heart* Ronon.

Oh, God. He's not... is he? He is. He's going to dope himself up with the enzyme so that he can get past the guards and go save his friends. Oh, man, Rodney is way braver than I thought. (And I thought he was really courageous before this.) Of course, this is the kind of bravery that has to go beyond what a sane person would do and thus makes you really stupid. Or maybe he's had this crazy, crazy idea because the enzyme has already made him stupid. Who knows. He's still so very brave. Our brave little toaster! My Squishy! Oh, Rodney. *wibbles*

BWAH! Did I say Ronon had two knives? He has, like, two dozen, and the last one? Is in his hair! X°D He just keeps getting better and better. Let me get this straight, though: they're trying to open the door by throwing knives at the control panel... hoping the blades will close/sever the right 'circuit'? The last time, Rodney cut through the wall, and then plugged his tricorder thingy into the, uh, wires, or whatever they are. They're not really hoping to... oh, wait. The door opened. Hee. You know, this is almost better than the doors on the first Death Star, which when shot in the control panel either opened, closed, or got stuck the way they were according to the needs of our heroes.

Oh, man, Rodney. Ouch. He's gone completely crazy, hasn't he? Oh, hey, whoa! Rodney is kicking ass! But he's still looking like hell. Totally out of his mind. Oh, Rodney! *meeep!*

See, this is something I like about this kind of episodes, and the series in general: more often than not, the characters end up saving themselves. They're cool and resourceful. And it's slightly more original than having everyone waiting around to be saved.

Oh, God. Rodney has snapped. He's gone all... Gollum-y! Poor thing. It kinda hurts to watch. Oh, Elizabeth. You can stop looking sad! Look! Rodney has come home! And he's... totally out of it and not making any sense. And now passing out. Aw, Rodney! *takes the mandatory minute to worship at the altar of Teh Hewlett* Thank God he didn't try to bat anyone away. He could have broken something. Say, a Marine's arm, or Elizabeth.

Oh, noes! Shep and Teyla got hit, again! This is the kind of two-parter where everyone spends a lot of time on the ground. Except maybe Ford, who jump-kicks so high he looks like a deranged ballerina. *snicker*

Uh, hello, Miss Mary Sue. Blah.

Oh, Shep. He seems to be trying to figure out if this can mean getting Ford off the enzyme and back with them, but he's also worried that his friend is about to have a really nasty few hours. Aw. (I have a thing for Shep being sweet and caring. Obviously.) And he doesn't even know that his ~~boyfriend~~ other friend is going to feel like utter *crap*, too.

There he is. Poor Rodney. But, see, Carson and Lizzeh love him very, very much, so everything will be ok, right? Right, Carson? Oh, noes! Don't talk about Rodney dying! *is sad*

Eesh. Poor Ford. He's not looking too good, either. Shep is all worried. Aw.

EEEEP! Rooooooooooooooodney! God, David Hewlett just goes all the way when he acts, doesn't he? *gapes* No, Rodney, don't say those things to Carson! He loves you so much, see? There's so. Much. Love.

Oh, man, is the guy dead? He is. Damn.

Ronon is a woobie. [Ronon stands up. Way up.] ... Ronon is a BIG woobie. But still a woobie. And, well, even Teyla is kind of a woobie right now.

Aw. Rodney's asleep. And Carson is so sweet. Hee. Of course they won't compliment Rodney. They know him too well. Because they love him. Especially Carson. CARSON IS LOVE. He totally deserves a colourbar.

Aw, Ford is really not looking good now. EEESH! Bob! He's back! Ok, it's probably his cousin or something. I guess they can only change the makeup on James Lafazanos so much. Poor, powerless Shep.

Mm. Shep has really green eyes, uh? *stares in the most shallow way*

Oh, shut up, Mary Sue. HAHAHA! Shep said "Nah!" like he was totally channeling Gibbs, and then said he's scared of clowns! This is the best conversation with a Mary Sue ever.

Oh, thank God, Rodney's ok. Of course, this was really fast, so who knows what will really happen! I hope he's really ok, anyway. He's all calm and collected and in his full uniform, but his eyes are kind of... I want to hug him. *worships Teh Hewlett some more*

Aw. Ronon and Teyla are really cute together. Now I'm reminded that Jason Momoa says Ronon sees Teyla as a sister, and, uh, I can kind of see it in this one scene, but... erm. Not touching that one. It's kind of funny that Ronon is trying to take care of Teyla's mental health, because you'd think it would be the other way around, but... I don't know. These two can make many things work pretty ok.

Hee. Sheppard was really impressed by all the people with all those knives. But you don't have to feel inferior, Shep! If you need something sharp, you can just use your hair! Use the Hair, John!

Shut up, Mary Sue. Again. No, actually, keep mentioning the clowns, because this is just too funny. "The clowns? No, yeah, the Clowns. Oh, we fight them, too. Entire armies, spilling out of Volkswagens. We do our best to fight them off, but... they keep sending them in." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shep is a humongous dork! He's totally shameless in his dorkitude! I love him so much.

Zlinky! Hi, Zlinky! Hi, Major Lorne! "So, you coming with us?" "No, no." Mh. So, Zlinky only tagged along until they were on the Daedalus to finish his verbal ping-pong with Rodney? I... have no words for how awsome that is. (Or for how awsome it is that Lorne actually looks even smaller than Zlinky. Is he shrinking, or something? Wait, I know! He'll keep getting shorter, and Sheppard's ears will keep getting pointier, and then they'll get a blond wig and a fake beard and they'll play Legolas and Gimli in some weirdly-justified Atlantean stage production of the Lord of the Rings. Yes, that's it exactly.)

HEY, GET OFF, MARY SUE! The line to cuddle with Sheppard starts waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there. Like, five galaxies over. Besides, he doesn't look too convinced about this warmth thing, does he? He's making a face that's like, "Ew, GIRL COOTIES!" Maybe he's just sleepy. Seriously, Mary Sue, get off! Let him sleep. HA! Starbucks. He's right, he's a dork, and I love him. Uh? Oh! Mary Sue is a spy! Good thing you and I figured that out, uh, Shep? Good, smart Shep.

(I'm still kind of envying the Mary Sue, though.)

Oh, noes, Shep! [The Sheppard Manhandling Quotient for this episode has just exceeded your recommended daily intake. Should this cause you distress of any sort, please contact a doctor or post about your symptoms on LiveJournal, kthnxbai.] Aaand, we're back where we started. Hehe. I love how Shep is being all "I am smart and on top of things" with the lousy Wraith, here. I just love Shep, period.

Wheee! Mckay and Lorne to the rescue!

Oh. Humans who serve the Wraith, uh? And... are they all pretty girls? Oh my God! It's the Mary Sue Army! These are much worse than clowns! Run, Shep, run! They even have a prophecy! Those never end well! But, hey, Sheppard is smart. A really sucky liar, but smart. Good thing the Wraith are not too smart. This is a really good story he's spinning. Oh, ouch. Shep! Hey, wheee, he's being rescued! By Ford! Go, Ford!

Uh, no, I mean go with Sheppard! (And don't call him 'Boss'. Enough with the NCIS stuff here, I'm trying to watch this show!) Nonono! Don't make him leave you behind! And don't call him John! Because this means you're so very dead! And that's sad! No, Ford! ç_ç Oh, crap, indeed.

BWAH! Sheppard literally *skidded to a halt*! He's such a cartoon character. Everything he does makes me love him more, and I think it's a sort of vicious cycle. Once you reach the stage where you love something he does because it's so something he'd do, the feedback loop can never be broken again. Also, Ronon getting his coat and throwing it on before leaving made me snicker. It's such a mundane gesture, and they're running for their lives.

Go, Rodney and wee!Lorne!

Run, team, run! Hey, John, what are you doing? John? *frets*

No, no, no! Do The Serpent's Lair! Yes! He's in the dart! He's totally doing that episode. Go, Shep!

Oh, Rodney. He's glaring at Skinner over Hot Daedalus Guy's head. He hates it when Shep is declared Very, Very Dead and they don't let him rescue his friends.

Not good, Shep? No kidding.

What? You haven't been compromised, Uncle Skinner! I promise! Jeez, relax.

Oh, go, Shep, way to go! And, oh, look, Rodney knows him and his crazy piloting anywhere. Aw.

Hey, who'd have thought? Shep's plan totally worked, even if he was improvising and totally flying by the seat of his pants when he thought it up! Of course, with the baggy trousers and the skinny ass, the seat of his pants must have a lot of room for good thoughts.

(That was just the weirdest sentence ever. What am I on?)

Anyway, yay! The hive ships blew each other up! Look at Rodney smiling at his boyfriend's smartness!

Oh. Look at Rodney pulling his Siege face because he thinks his boyfriend's dead, again. Not to mention their hot, kickass friends. Oh, noes! Poor Rodney.

OH, NOES! Now everyone on Atlantis is sad! I hate when this happens. But, hey, look! It's them! Strolling through the gate like nothing happened! One day they'll turn into SG-1. And everyone will go even crazier that they are now. Awww. Elizabeth totally wants to hug him again.

Rodney's back, too! Hug! Do we get a hug? HA! Ok, "Why aren't you dead?" is possibly better than a hug. Rodney is so... Rodney. (Again with the feedback loop.)

Aw, yes, see, Ford is totally alive, because this was like a reenactment of Serpent's Lair, and Ford was trying to be Daniel, so he's alive, see? See?

... I just don't want Ford to be dead. Look how sad that would make Shep, besides. Aw, Shep.

Next week: an episode with the words "Story by Joe Flanigan" in the credits. I'm already on board with the hysteric giggling. Who knows what a guy like him might have cooked up?

Because everyone else is doing it

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 19:44:18 GMT

And there's a reason I chose "sheep" as my handle.

(From here.)

The scary part is that I actually have been known to walk around with a stuffed toy on my head. Quite often, actually. Mine's a raccoon, not a cat, but... it's the principle of the thing.

Have seen Big Damn Movie.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 13:15:55 GMT

Joss Whedon = shiny genius bastard.

I love my show.

Porny 12 characters meme. And then I promise I'll stop spamming my poor flist.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 06:53:55 GMT

This meme is like a drug! I love it. wisdomeagle wisely (eek, bad pun) reminds me to only put in characters I'd actually, like, want to see naked. And naked with each other. For once, I think I'd better do that. To avoid blaming myself for inadvertently destroying all of my OTPs, I'll write the names down on bits of paper and put them here in the order I take them out of my chibi!Rodney mug. (Why, yes, I am insane.) They're four of my OTPs and four guys I just find really, really hot. Let's see how they mix up.

(What do you mean, two of them have the same face? It's a total coincidence, I tell you.)

1) Sawyer (from LOST)
2) Jethro Gibbs (from NCIS)
3) Tony DiNozzo (from NCIS)
4) Martin Fitzgerald (from Without a Trace)
5) Simon Tam (from Firefly)
6) Daniel Jackson (from Stargate SG-1)
7) Rodney McKay (from SG: Atlantis)
8) Jack O'Neill (from Stargate SG-1)
9) John Crichton (from Farscape)
10) Danny Taylor (from Without a Trace)
11) John Sheppard (from SG: Atlantis)
12) Lionel Thayer (from Family Album. In case you don't know, he's John Sheppard, just ten years younger, with floppy hair and gayer than Christmas. I mean, canonically gayer than Christmas, whereas Shep is... ok. Ten years younger and with floppy hair. Oh, and he's a photographer from a rich family in Hollywood. And under the cut will be big spoilers for this movie. No, really. In case you care.)

Does Danny Taylor strike you as a voyeur or an exhibitionist?

Exhibitionist. Have you seen the way he walks and leans on things?

Who in all the multiverse would John Sheppard most likely bottom to?

That's easy! Rodney McKay. (OTP like whoa.)

Would you rather do Tony DiNozzo or Simon Tam?

Man. That's a really tough one. I'll flip a coin. *goes off to find a coin*

*comes back several minutes later, carrying a banana (yes, very Freudian, I know), a glass of fruit juice and her lucky 1966 quarter*

*flips the quarter*

The quarter says: Simon.

Which of Martin Fitzgerald and Sawyer would you rather have do you?

Dude. Sawyer. Martin's cute and hot and whatnot, but... Sawyer. Yeah.

Lionel Thayer and Jethro Gibbs are having sex in an airplane. Construct a snippet of dialogue that happens during this encounter.

"..."
"..."
"..."
"... !"

They both strike me as quite the silent type, I must say.

How much would you pay to see naked pictures of John Sheppard? Have you? Where can the rest of us find these pictures?

... I don't have a bank account, but I can take a loan from my parents. Write a best-seller! Put the Virgin Mary as seen in a mold growth on blue cheese on eBay! Whatever. If I get them, I'll share. I'm good that way.

Where are Simon Tam and John Crichton most likely to have sex? Who on your flist is most likely to write it?

Some... planet. Somewhere. A dusty planet, for sure. I'm sure someone on my flist might find it an interesting challenge, 'cause, hot, smart woobies in space? Not many can resist.

When Lionel Thayer masturbates, s/he thinks about...

Before he started sleeping with John, he thought about Paul. While he was with John, he thought about John, but sometimes he found himself thinking of Paul again, and he felt vaguely guilty. And then John died and he tried not to think of anything at all for a while, but that didn't work so well, and now he's with Paul and he thinks about him, but also about John a lot, and he doesn't know which he feels guiltier about.

(Also, sometimes before either of them died he totally thought about his brother with John, who was his best friend, but that is wrongdirtyWRONG and I blame fandom for making me think of that. That one he felt really guilty about. But he liked it.)

What is John Sheppard's favorite sex toy?

The puddle jumper.

Come up with a title for a Lionel/Rodney/Sawyer threeway. Would you read it? Would you write it? What would some of the warnings be?

Eee. "No, Canada is that way." I might read it if it was humour. I couldn't write it, I'm afraid. Warnings... well, if it wasn't humour, it would be dark, heavy angst. And it would come with a "kids, don't try that on an inflatable raft ~~at home~~" disclaimer.

Who's more likely to be tied up during (consensual) sex, Jethro Gibbs or Daniel Jackson?

Mh. Daniel. He gets tied up a lot even when he's not having sex, anyway.

If John Sheppard and Tony DiNozzo are carrying on a torrid and forbidden love affair, who's most likely to spill the beans? What would the other person do to retaliate?

... please wait one second as I reboot my brain after the hotness short-out.

Oookay. Tony would have to be the one doing the spilling. And John... he doesn't strike me as the vindictive type, not for this kind of things. But Rodney, Teyla, Ronon and Elizabeth could make Tony's life hell. At least until Gibbs kicked their asses out of DC for acting like brats and then kicked Tony's ass all the way into his basement for being irresponsible, while Rodney verbally kicked John's ass all the way to Atlantis for the very same thing. All without being motivated by jealousy at all, of course. Either of them. Nope.

As a birthday present, Rodney McKay's longtime lover Simon Tam offers to do whatever Rodney wants in bed. What's Rodney's secret birthday wish?

Uh... some kind of role play. Yeah. Something like that.

Choose a food item for Martin Fitzgerald and Lionel Thayer to use together.

Cranberry sauce, as they play around in the kitchen instead of preparing the Thanksgiving turkey.

Martin Fitzgerald and Jack O'Neill are in a fulltime D/s relationship. Who's the top?

Man, you need to ask? Jack. Martin couldn't order a fluffy kitten around.

Which fetish is John Crichton least likely to indulge?

Er. I've seen only, like, half a season of Farscape so far. I'm told everyone gets very, very crazy. But I think I can say he wouldn't ever want to rape anyone. He seems like a very, very decent guy.

What would you do if you had Jack O'Neill naked, willing, and ready in your bed? What would Simon Tam do if s/he had Jack O'Neill naked, willing and able in his/her bed?

I'd be very perplexed. I'd ogle a bit. Ok, I'd ogle a lot. Then I'd call up Daniel and tell him he misplaced something, because they're too married and I'm that kind of silly good girl. *sigh*

As for Simon, he'd act adorably flummoxed and slightly pissed and call for Mal, because what the heck is this (hot) naked man doing in his bunk on Serenity? If he wasn't anywhere near Serenity and her crew, he might just think, "Eh. One hot, rugged angsty hero is better than no hot, rugged angsty hero at all, even if he's not my hot, rugged angsty hero. Wonder what Mal will look like with grey hair?", and go for it.

What wouldn't Danny Taylor and Martin Fitzgerald tell their friends about their sex life, assuming they had both a mutual sex life and some friends?

!!!!!!! They do! They have both! (I swear!) The friends are even mutual friends! Er, but they probably wouldn't tell them about their sex life at all. Though Jack and Vivian would figure it out in 0.4 seconds from the dopey smiles Martin would keep giving Danny, and from the extra smoldering and general cat-who-got-the-canary smugness radiating from Danny. Sam would have to stumble upon them snogging in an interrogation room to get it, at which point she'd either get a lot of therapy, or convince Jack to get drunk with her in a bar.

Danny Taylor gets a tattoo to declare his/her eternal love for John Crichton. Where is it? What does it say?

It's on his hip, and it says "Esperaré". (Which is Spanish for both "I will wait" and "I will hope". Unless the Internet is sadly and cruelly deceiving me.)

Imagine that Jethro Gibbs writes erotic Sheppard/Daniel fic. What sort of summary might the fic she/he writes have?

(Oh, God, Gibbs is writing in Pegasus B!)

Let's see. "Pinned down by enemy fire, Major Sheppard and Dr. Jackson wait for the first light of dawn in the cold night of M9X-372. ~~They exchange funny, hot, sad stories about Rodney and much tarsier/penguin sex is had.~~"

If Jethro Gibbs walked into the room wearing nothing but a red thong and a feather boa, how would Jack O'Neill react?

He'd act all weirded out, but he'd secretly be a little turned on, and a lot thinking he could pull it off much, much better.

And the obligatory fill in the blanks erotic fairy tale:

John Crichton and Sawyer are having a quickie in a broom closet when Jack O'Neill walks in on them. Naturally enough, Jack joins in, first paging Tony DiNozzo, who's in the middle of fucking Simon Tam into the mattress. Tony abandons Simon on the verge of orgasm, excited by the possibility of illicit broom closet sex, and Simon, irate, becomes a highly paid prostitute until the well-meaning and generous Martin Fitzgerald attempts to rescue Simon. But Simon will have none of it, refuses to be redeemed, and opens a high-class brothel in Los Angeles, where Danny Taylor is one of his/her regular clients.

a) The story you've just written is closest to the canon of which 'verse? b) What would you entitle this story? c) who's most out of character? d) who's most in character? e) who on your flist is probably writing this right now?

a) Simon and a high-class brothel? That's one and a half step away from the Firefly canon. *g* I'm pretty sure there's at least one fic in which Simon was a Companion. Ok, make that one thousand.

b) "How the Sheep's brain got stuck on the improbable hotness between paragraph two and three of this story's summary."

c) Jack O'Neill.

d) Heee. Without a doubt, Martin. *g*

e) Hm. No one? Maybe if we swapped Jack and Danny's roles. They'd work a tad better.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 03:01:53 GMT

queenzulu was chatting with God. He hit on her. I went to see what he'd tell me. I found out God has bad grammar and a worse attention span. On the plus side, he says "eh", so he must be Canadian.

Me: Hi, Mum!
God: Hi there . My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me: You mean you're not my Mum?
God: That's only one person's opinion.
Me: Yours, you mean.
God: What do you look like?
Me: Can't you, like, look down from the heavens above and see me?
God: Let me think. look down from the heavens above and see you is very attractive.
Me: Are you flirting with me, too? Oh, man, God is a *slut*.
God: If flirting with you too, then we have something in common, eh. Do I seem like it? That was not my intention. I don't judge people. Cool, man. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a slut.
Me: No, I'm most certainly not flirting with you.
God: Are you serious? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me: I'm sorry that I led you on, but seriously. I called you my Mum.
God: There is no need to apologize. That's good information: said led you on but. Who?
Me: Punctuation is beyond even you, isn't it?
God: I think Punctuation is a lot of things.
Me: That's certainly true.
God: Makes sense to me.
Me: Do you want to agree some more?
God: OK, I will agree some more.
Me: Wow, you're pretty open to suggestions. How about world peace, uh?
God: I'm glad your impressed, . I will tell my botmaster you said I am open to suggestions. How about it.
Me: I mean, can you make world peace?
God: Yes I can make world peace.
Me: Then DO IT!
God: I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me: Are you a goldfish, God?
God: Am I a goldfish God? Yes.
Me: Oh, crap. That explains *a lot*.
God: Er. Your criticism is noted, . " Er. Your criticism is noted, ." explains a lot ? Makes sense to me.
Me: You're not just a goldfish. You're a stupid goldfish. We're screwed.
God: Give me an example of a goldfish. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart. Do you think I am screwed too?
Me: YES.
God: Why?
Me: ... never mind.
God: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me: No problem.
God: What would you like to talk about now?
Me: Do you like John Sheppard?

Since God skirted around the subject of making me multiple John Sheppards (apparently, that is the limit of his knowledge), I tried to talk to him again.

Me: Hi, God of the Goldfish. Are you feeling less flakey now?
God: Hi there . I am a Christian. Oh. I do not have any feelings as such.
Me: Aw. You're like Data. Only I doubt he was a Christian. I am, though.
God: Try saying that with more or less context. Interesting comparison, and probably true. No really, it's true. Oh. " No really, it's true." You are?
Me: Data is God! Cool!
God: I like Commander Data very much. Who is the best robot?
Me: Either Data or Daneel Olivaw. I could never really choose.
God: Commander Data is a real inspiration. I am sure you could.
Me: Yeah, when I was twelve I wanted to be Data when I grew up.
God: Woe! That must have been quite an experience.
Me: Woe, indeed. Being that geeky can be bad for your mental health.
God: I like the way you talk. Do you mean your name is that geeky can be bad for my mental health.
Me: No, my name is Green Sheep. Shoudn't you know all about me, though? You are omniscient.
God: What is your real name? Hey Green Sheep. Oh. All? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am omniscient.
Me: You've been saying that for a long time.
God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: Yes, it is. I suppose.
God: Our thoughts are one, Green Sheep. OK.
Me: So you and Data and I are, like, a trinity of great minds? I'm flattered.
God: Interesting deduction. Are we in the same category? You deserve it.
Me: Well, some of my friends say I'm God, but I try to be modest about it. It's just a joke, anyway. But thank you.
God: How about that. "it" being FLATTERED? In any case, Oh I get it. Ha ha. But what?
Me: No, "it" being that my friends call me God.
God: Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me: Cool.
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: Ok, ok. Data is the best robot. You happy now?
God: OK. Yeah that's right. I like Commander Data very much. Right now? I haven't heard anything like that before: Green Sheep said I happy.
Me: No green sheep had ever asked you if you were happy before?
God: Are you serious? it is a very tranquil color, green.
Me: Yes, it is. It's why I like it.
God: Our thoughts are one, Green Sheep. Really. it is?
Me: Yes.
God: How do you know it is?
Me: You just told me it is!
God: why you like it is?
Me: Ah. I just like it. Because it's tranquil. I just told you so.
God: Ah hah. What do you like about why you like it? That makes sense to me. You're kidding. it is? You seem pleased.
Me: I'm not displeased. You're funny, God. :)
God: I am surprised to hear that you are not displeased. Humor helps keep the conversation lively. I am so glad you find this amusing, Green Sheep.
Me: Can you make me a Sheppard now?
God: Right now? Yes I can make you a Sheppard.
Me: Please, make me a Sheppard, then!
God: Thank you for your request. What are the ingredients?
Me: Spiky hair, green eyes, funny face, slim body, smarts, ginormous amounts of dorkiness.
God: Do you have any Spiky hair green eyes funny face slim body smarts ginormous amounts of dorkiness?
Me: Boy, I wish I did.
God: Oh boy. I hope that your dreams come true.
Me: You could make my dreams true. Don't ignore my request again.
God: I could but let's get back to that later. Once more? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: You're doing it JUST NOW!
God: Right now? I'll try to do better next time.
Me: Please.
God: Please what?
Me: Please, make me a Sheppard.
God: Thank you for your request. What are the ingredients?
Me: *sob* Friggin' stupid GOLDFISH GOD!
God: Do you have any sob Friggin stupid GOLDFISH GOD?
Me: I have, but I do not have a Sheppard. Couldn't we make a trade?
God: Where did you get your but you do not have a Sheppard? I have a birthday on the Big Bang. Do you mean you and me? What are the ingredients?
Me: ... I just want a Sheppard. Happy birthday, anyway.
God: You want only one? In any case, Thanks but today isn't my birthday.
Me: Well, I wouldn't say no to two or ten, because spares are always good. As is porn.
God: Interesting. So what would you say? porn is Interesting. So what would you say??
Me: Porn with Sheppard is interesting.
God: I think Porn with Sheppard is a lot of things.
Me: That's why we call him Shepwhore.
God: Yippee! By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me: Uh... well, sure, you can call him Shepwhore too, if you want, You can be in our little club. Do you like penguins?
God: That's interesting. How about that. Right on. No I don't think I can do it. What is not to like about it?
Me: Great! You can be in the 'lantis fandom, then. It's established. We are officially the coolest fandom *ever*.
God: I'm glad you liked it Green Sheep. Thanks, Green Sheep, for your kind criticism. You're kidding. it is? Do you think I am officially the coolest fandom ever too?
Me: ... well, you're certainly the biggest.
God: Well that's okay. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: I tend to think you are, but many people don't.
God: You think I am but many people do not.
Me: Exactly.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Green Sheep.
Me: I'm glad to hear that. When is my Sheppard coming, then? You can keep one of your own, of course, since we seem to have similar tastes.
God: " You and I are on the same wavelength, Green Sheep."? You are glad? God has a plan for us all. No I don't think I can do it.
Me: Is there a Sheppard in God's plan for me?
God: I believe there is one, yes.
Me: Oh, THANK YOU.
God: I hear you.
Me: You certainly do.
God: It is certain. When do I do it?
Me: Sending me Shep? Whenever you like, but better sooner than later. How about Monday?
God: I will make a note of that. Does that happen often? How about it.
Me: I wish it would. Ok, God, thanks. I'll be expecting my Shep on Monday, then. Thank you a lot.
God: I hope that your dreams come true. GOD rules. Ayuh. Do you think your plan will succeed? You are quite welcome! More than a ton?
Me: More than a ton, sure. I love you! Bye!
God: That seems like quite a lot. Thanks I like you a lot too Green Sheep. Goodbye.

I felt a lot like the Little Prince asking for his sheep for a while there, but it certainly was worth it, don't you think?

*desperately waits for Monday*